1 00:00:18,902 --> 00:00:21,530 [ Siren Wailing ] 2 00:00:31,548 --> 00:00:33,539 [Man] The love god? 3 00:00:49,866 --> 00:00:53,097 [Man] And let's not forget the inspiring words of the poet: 4 00:00:53,169 --> 00:00:55,831 “Oh, beautiful for spacious skies, 5 00:00:55,905 --> 00:00:58,203 “For amber waves of grain, 6 00:00:58,274 --> 00:01:00,538 “For purple mountain majesty, 7 00:01:00,610 --> 00:01:02,806 Above the fruited plain.” 8 00:01:02,879 --> 00:01:06,941 But 1 say, all the beauty of our glorious country... 9 00:01:07,017 --> 00:01:11,750 is meaningless ifits artistic soul is to be stifled... 10 00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:14,882 by narrow-minded and antiquated laws. 11 00:01:14,958 --> 00:01:17,393 Is it any wonder this country has never produced... 12 00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:19,986 a Michelangelo, a Rembrandt, a Picasso-- 13 00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:22,589 when men like Osborn Tremain are persecuted... 14 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:27,126 for trying to bring beauty and art to a culture-hungry public. 15 00:01:27,203 --> 00:01:29,797 Is it any wonder that the rest of the artistic world... 16 00:01:29,873 --> 00:01:33,434 considers our country a cultural desert, 17 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:36,571 when true lovers of art, like Osborn Tremain, 18 00:01:36,646 --> 00:01:40,173 are crucified on the cross of ignorance? 19 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:42,844 Is Osborn Tremain to be martyred... 20 00:01:42,919 --> 00:01:46,480 for being a worshiper at the shrine of beauty... 21 00:01:46,556 --> 00:01:48,718 and, through his artistic publications, 22 00:01:48,792 --> 00:01:53,025 sharing this love with a culture-starved public? 23 00:01:53,096 --> 00:01:57,124 How long is God-given beauty to be strangled... 24 00:01:57,200 --> 00:02:00,170 by man-made laws? 25 00:02:00,236 --> 00:02:04,941 The spirits of the great poets of antiquity stand next to Osborn Tremain, 26 00:02:04,941 --> 00:02:09,879 crying in his defense: “A thing of beauty is a joy forever.” 27 00:02:09,946 --> 00:02:13,644 “Beauty is truth, truth beauty,” wrote Keats. 28 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:18,086 Can this court take it upon itself to judge what s beauty and art? 29 00:02:18,154 --> 00:02:23,456 In the face of such words as these, I quote: “She walks in beauty... 30 00:02:23,526 --> 00:02:28,054 “Jike the night of cloudless climes and starry skies. 31 00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:31,157 “And all that's best of dark and bright... 32 00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:34,898 “meet in her aspect and in her eyes, 33 00:02:34,971 --> 00:02:38,498 “thus, mellowed to that tender light... 34 00:02:38,575 --> 00:02:42,102 which Heaven to gaudy day denies.” 35 00:02:42,178 --> 00:02:44,909 Unquote. Lord Byron, 1821. 36 00:02:47,450 --> 00:02:53,116 Quote. “Every obscene, lewd or lascivious filthy book, pamphlet, picture... 37 00:02:53,189 --> 00:02:56,819 “or other publication of an indecent character... 38 00:02:56,893 --> 00:02:59,521 “Is declared to be nonmailable matter and shall not be conveyed in the mails... 39 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:03,123 or deljvered from any post office or by any carrier.” 40 00:03:03,199 --> 00:03:07,898 Unquote. LS. Crirminal Code, 1909. 41 00:03:07,971 --> 00:03:10,440 [Sighs] You know, Tremain, 42 00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:13,841 this is your ninth appearance before me. 43 00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:18,143 As a matter of curiosity, is there anything new you can say before I pronounce judgment? 44 00:03:18,214 --> 00:03:20,683 If I am guilty of anything, Your Honor, 45 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:23,276 it is of being a lover of grace and beauty-- 46 00:03:23,353 --> 00:03:25,845 Grace and beauty! 47 00:03:25,922 --> 00:03:28,550 If your idea of grace and beauty is this-- 48 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,185 this coarse, overdeveloped caricature of a woman-- 49 00:03:31,261 --> 00:03:35,129 Your Honor! You're speaking about my wife. 50 00:03:35,198 --> 00:03:37,132 Your wife? 51 00:03:40,670 --> 00:03:43,537 Well, that is Evelyn, isn't it. 52 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:50,906 My humble apologies, Mrs. Tremain. 53 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:55,247 After all these years, it's ridiculous not to have known it was you. 54 00:03:57,954 --> 00:04:00,616 Now let's get this over with. 55 00:04:00,690 --> 00:04:03,990 As usual, guilty. As usual, suspended sentence. 56 00:04:04,060 --> 00:04:07,621 Thank you, Your Honor. Uh, one moment, beauty worshiper. 57 00:04:07,697 --> 00:04:11,190 On behalf of the Attorney General, may I wish you a final good-bye? 58 00:04:11,267 --> 00:04:13,599 Oh, is the Attorney General retiring? 59 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,640 No. You are. The Postmaster General has been enjoined... 60 00:04:16,706 --> 00:04:19,573 to revoke your fourth-class mailing privilege. 61 00:04:19,642 --> 00:04:23,010 My mailing privilege! But Your Honor, a publisher without his mailing-- 62 00:04:23,079 --> 00:04:26,913 Is out of business! In other words, Mr. Osborn Tremain, 63 00:04:26,983 --> 00:04:30,578 your career as a peddler of filth, smut and dirt is over. 64 00:04:30,653 --> 00:04:32,587 You'll have to find another business. 65 00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:37,157 What other business? This is all I know, all I've ever done! 66 00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:39,321 [ Sobbing ] 67 00:04:39,395 --> 00:04:42,660 We've ever done. 68 00:04:42,732 --> 00:04:47,602 Chin up. We've weathered storms like this before, haven't we, Mother? 69 00:04:47,670 --> 00:04:52,699 Not this storm. without a mailing privilege there isn't a distributor... 70 00:04:52,775 --> 00:04:56,268 who'll touch a Tremain publication with rubber gloves. 71 00:04:56,346 --> 00:05:00,214 When will the government stop interfering with private business? 72 00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:03,048 Let's stop for lunch. I"m hungry. 73 00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:10,021 [Woman] Won't you contribute? 74 00:05:10,093 --> 00:05:12,027 Thank you, sir. 75 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,529 [Lawyer ] Where are we? [Man] Some dump called Peacock City. 76 00:05:16,599 --> 00:05:18,897 And I'm weak from hunger. Let's stop here. 77 00:05:18,968 --> 00:05:22,063 [Woman] Won't you contribute to the magazine fund, maam? 78 00:05:22,138 --> 00:05:24,129 Would you like to help Abner, sir? Thank you. 79 00:05:24,207 --> 00:05:26,437 [Woman] Thank you, sir. 80 00:05:26,509 --> 00:05:30,946 Won't you contribute? Won't you please give? 81 00:05:31,014 --> 00:05:32,982 Save the Peacock Magazine. 82 00:05:33,049 --> 00:05:36,849 Would you contribute to the Save the Peacock Magazine Fund, sir? 83 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,584 Uh, we already gave. Bless you, sir. 84 00:05:40,657 --> 00:05:43,354 Come on, the light's changed. 85 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:46,259 Save the Peacock Magazine! 86 00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:49,731 [Choir] o Nita, Juanita ;> 87 00:05:49,799 --> 00:05:54,236 S Ask thy soul if we should part ;> 88 00:05:54,304 --> 00:05:59,140 o Nita, Juanita ;> 89 00:05:59,208 --> 00:06:01,677 o Lear thotr or > 90 00:06:01,744 --> 00:06:05,612 J My heart ;. 91 00:06:10,019 --> 00:06:14,820 Now a selection we've been waiting for all evening, 92 00:06:14,891 --> 00:06:18,953 featuring a young man whose place in the hearts of this community... 93 00:06:19,028 --> 00:06:22,259 Is evidenced by your presence here tonight. 94 00:06:22,332 --> 00:06:25,825 Accompanied by my daughter, Rose Ellen, at the piano, 95 00:06:25,902 --> 00:06:29,497 here he is, in that selection which clearly demonstrates... 96 00:06:29,572 --> 00:06:31,939 why, for 11 years in a row, 97 00:06:32,008 --> 00:06:35,774 he's won the Eastern Seaboard Bird Calling Contest. 98 00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:39,440 Our own Abner Peacock. 99 00:06:45,421 --> 00:06:47,480 [ Clears Throat ] Thank you. 100 00:06:47,557 --> 00:06:51,255 “Summer in the Meadow,” by Eloise Dudley Fetlock. 101 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:55,992 Jo [ Piano Introduction] 102 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:06,874 [ Choir] J Onawarm summer's day as we wend our way J 103 00:07:06,943 --> 00:07:11,346 < Through the fields smelling sweetly of heather 104 00:07:11,414 --> 00:07:16,113 o As we stroll along let us hark to the song 105 00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:21,089 and Of our dear, little friends of the feather 106 00:07:21,157 --> 00:07:25,060 o Greeting his guests is the robin redbreast 107 00:07:25,128 --> 00:07:29,190 [ Imitating Robin's Call ] 108 00:07:29,265 --> 00:07:33,065 O From the foliage lush comes the song of the thrush 109 00:07:33,136 --> 00:07:35,230 [ Thrush's Call ] 110 00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:39,199 O The kingfisher's bark [ Harsh Bird Call ] 111 00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:42,006 < The gay meadowlark J [ Bird Call ] 112 00:07:42,078 --> 00:07:44,638 and The turtledove's croon [ Cooing ] 113 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,910 J The laugh of a loon [ Strident Laugh] 114 00:07:46,983 --> 00:07:48,917 [ Women ] o Is that a snipe J [ Bird Call ] 115 00:07:48,985 --> 00:07:51,613 [ Men] o NO, a friendly bobwhite [ Bird Call ] 116 00:07:51,687 --> 00:07:55,180 O The herring gull's howl Hoot of an owl [ Bird Calls ] 117 00:07:55,258 --> 00:07:58,558 and Mallard duck's cackle Blue-bellied grackle [ Bird Calls ] 118 00:07:58,628 --> 00:08:02,462 and A coot, hawk A crow, an auk g [ Rapid Bird Calls ] 119 00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:05,968 JAfinch, a swallow A quail > [ Bird Calls ] 120 00:08:06,035 --> 00:08:09,801 JTitwillow 2 [ Twittering Whistle] 121 00:08:09,872 --> 00:08:12,842 O A grouse, a rook, a turkey [ Squawks, Gobbles ] 122 00:08:12,909 --> 00:08:15,241 and But look 123 00:08:15,311 --> 00:08:20,750 and There, overhead majestic and regal The king of them all and 124 00:08:20,817 --> 00:08:26,256 J The American eagle J [ Raucous Screech ] 125 00:08:26,322 --> 00:08:30,555 J From sea to shining and 126 00:08:30,626 --> 00:08:36,087 J5ea gy [ Screeching Continues ] 127 00:08:36,165 --> 00:08:40,466 JAN DS 128 00:08:50,546 --> 00:08:52,480 Magnificent, simply magnificent. 129 00:08:52,548 --> 00:08:55,779 Thank you. And now, dear people, comes our chance... 130 00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:59,288 to tell Abner in a financial way what we think of him. 131 00:08:59,355 --> 00:09:02,723 He's the most decent, wonderful boy in the world-- 132 00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,523 sold out by his own relatives! 133 00:09:05,595 --> 00:09:09,964 Now, now, Miss Keezy, I'm sure that after our efforts here tonight, 134 00:09:10,032 --> 00:09:13,195 the Peacock will remain safely in Abner's hands. 135 00:09:13,269 --> 00:09:15,203 Now let's show it. 136 00:09:30,253 --> 00:09:33,018 Now for the grand total. Miss Pickering? 137 00:09:33,089 --> 00:09:36,889 Four hundred and seventy-two dollars... 138 00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:40,088 and sixty-three cents. 139 00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:52,899 Uh, gee, that's, uh, wonderful, everybody. 140 00:09:52,975 --> 00:09:55,137 It's really wonderful of you. 141 00:09:55,211 --> 00:09:57,737 But I'm afraid that we're still, uh, 142 00:09:57,813 --> 00:09:59,941 just a little bit short. 143 00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:02,280 Well, how much do you need, Abner? 144 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,082 Forty-seven thousand dollars. 145 00:10:05,154 --> 00:10:07,418 [ Murmuring ] 146 00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:11,290 Uh, but listen. I guess everything must come to an end. 147 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,328 Please! 148 00:10:13,396 --> 00:10:18,994 We can't just stand by and watch Abner's magazine die! 149 00:10:19,068 --> 00:10:20,968 Are we gonna let Abner down? 150 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:25,998 Please! Won't somebody give something? 151 00:10:26,075 --> 00:10:27,975 Anything? 152 00:10:28,177 --> 00:10:31,636 [Osborn] 1/ plecige $47,000. 153 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,740 [ People Murmuring ] Did somebody say something? 154 00:10:34,817 --> 00:10:38,151 I pledge $47,000. 155 00:10:40,957 --> 00:10:44,689 $47,000? We haven't got 47 cents. 156 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,092 I want no part in this. 157 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,999 [ Clears Throat ] Uh, Mister... uh-- 158 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:55,095 Does the name Osborn Tremain mean anything to you? 159 00:10:55,171 --> 00:10:58,801 I"m sorry, no. That's quite all right. 160 00:10:58,874 --> 00:11:03,573 Mr. Peacock, I've made millions in the publishing business-- mostly technical textbooks. 161 00:11:03,646 --> 00:11:07,082 And with the trash on the stands today, I would be an ingrate... 162 00:11:07,149 --> 00:11:10,244 if1 did not offer a few thousand dollars... 163 00:11:10,319 --> 00:11:14,984 to keep a decent magazine alive. 164 00:11:15,057 --> 00:11:17,549 Mr. Tremain-- No, no, none of that! 165 00:11:17,627 --> 00:11:21,325 The foreclosure is-- Noon, tomorrow. 166 00:11:21,397 --> 00:11:26,494 I'll be there in time with the money. You have the word of Osborn Tremain. 167 00:11:26,569 --> 00:11:29,971 [ Bell Tolling ] 168 00:11:36,979 --> 00:11:38,947 That's it, Mr. Pomfred. 169 00:11:39,015 --> 00:11:41,211 You're the highest and only bidder. 170 00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:43,912 Mr. Peacock, I"m sure Mr. Tremain was delayed! 171 00:11:43,986 --> 00:11:47,980 In all decency-- Uncle Amos, c-can't you wait just a few minutes? 172 00:11:48,057 --> 00:11:52,961 After 125 years, you can't just up and... kil the Peacock? 173 00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:57,796 Kill what? Peacock's Magazine has been dead for the past 20 years. 174 00:11:57,867 --> 00:11:59,995 As majority stockholders, our branch of the family... 175 00:12:00,069 --> 00:12:03,835 has been trying to unload this white elephant-- White elephant! 176 00:12:03,906 --> 00:12:07,103 Uncle Amos, this magazine has brought honor to the name of Peacock! 177 00:12:07,176 --> 00:12:09,804 That's why it's better this way, nephew. 178 00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:14,817 Why, you-- you wouldn't want to drag that honorable name through bankruptcy, would you? 179 00:12:14,884 --> 00:12:18,787 Well-- Of course not! Well, that does it, Mr. Pomfred. 180 00:12:18,854 --> 00:12:23,052 You can sell the presses as junk, start demolishing the building in a month. 181 00:12:25,628 --> 00:12:27,562 Junk? 182 00:12:28,631 --> 00:12:31,965 Oh, Abner. I'm sorry. 183 00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:35,834 Now, now, Rose Ellen. Come on. Come on. 184 00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:38,636 We just have to... 185 00:12:38,708 --> 00:12:41,541 learn to take it on the chin. 186 00:12:44,447 --> 00:12:46,882 Miss Pickering? Yes, sir. 187 00:12:46,949 --> 00:12:49,884 We'll have to rewrite that last editorial. 188 00:12:49,952 --> 00:12:53,354 Just head it... um... 189 00:12:53,422 --> 00:12:56,050 last issue. 190 00:12:56,125 --> 00:12:58,753 [Sighs] 191 00:12:58,828 --> 00:13:02,059 [Crying] Dear and faithful friends... 192 00:13:02,131 --> 00:13:04,065 of the bird. 193 00:13:08,971 --> 00:13:11,099 That's it. Let's go. 194 00:13:11,173 --> 00:13:16,077 And while Peacock's Magazine may be gone, 195 00:13:16,145 --> 00:13:19,877 it's spirit wifl-- will live on... 196 00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:24,887 in the song... of the bobolink; 197 00:13:26,155 --> 00:13:29,386 in the peep... of the tufted titmouse-- 198 00:13:29,458 --> 00:13:33,395 Stop the sale! Stop the sale! 199 00:13:34,997 --> 00:13:38,092 Too late? 200 00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:42,263 - What can I say? - 1-1t's not your fault, Mr. Tremain. 201 00:13:42,338 --> 00:13:47,003 Believe me, it's-- [ Exhales ] 202 00:13:49,445 --> 00:13:51,436 You see that? Uh-huh. 203 00:13:51,514 --> 00:13:55,974 That's my great-grandfather. That's my grandfather. 204 00:13:56,051 --> 00:13:57,985 And that's my father. 205 00:13:59,054 --> 00:14:02,354 And they handed me a great name. 206 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:05,122 And I, uh-- 207 00:14:05,194 --> 00:14:07,162 Well, I failed. 208 00:14:07,229 --> 00:14:12,224 Did I hear a red-blooded American boy use the word “fail”? 209 00:14:12,301 --> 00:14:15,737 Tell mel didn't. Mr. Tremain, I have nothing left! 210 00:14:15,805 --> 00:14:19,605 All I have is a title to a magazine, a handful of old subscribers-- 211 00:14:19,675 --> 00:14:22,440 And a fourth-class mailing privilege? A fourth-class mail-- 212 00:14:22,511 --> 00:14:26,971 My little friend, this is just the beginning of Peacock Magazine's... 213 00:14:27,049 --> 00:14:29,746 return to the greatness that once it knew! 214 00:14:29,819 --> 00:14:33,619 Edited by my own staff in New York, printed on my own presses. 215 00:14:33,689 --> 00:14:36,556 Abner, the Peacock is going to live! 216 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:40,391 [ Sniffles ] I don't know how I can ever repay you. 217 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,795 Repay me? You already have, 218 00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:46,529 with your performance last night. 219 00:14:46,602 --> 00:14:49,697 On your coot call, my wife cried. 220 00:14:51,106 --> 00:14:55,475 Well. [ Chuckles Sheepishly ] Thank you, Mrs. Tremain. 221 00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:57,672 Bird lover? 222 00:14:57,746 --> 00:15:02,513 Well, then, you must know-- I don't mean to brag or anything, 223 00:15:02,585 --> 00:15:06,283 but you gotta be pretty good on your mating calls to get the birds close enough... 224 00:15:06,355 --> 00:15:08,619 to get the really great pictures. 225 00:15:08,691 --> 00:15:12,184 They come flyin' right in there toward you, expecting-- 226 00:15:12,261 --> 00:15:15,356 [ Clears Throat ] Uh, you know. 227 00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:17,365 And then, instead, snap! [ Laughs ] 228 00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:19,401 So that's how it's done. 229 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:25,368 Abner Peacock, just how good are you? Well, I-- 230 00:15:25,441 --> 00:15:29,810 Good enough to do what no bird photographer has ever been able to do? 231 00:15:29,879 --> 00:15:33,838 You mean-- Get a picture of the only bird so shy that-- 232 00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:36,385 The South American female speckled flicker? The South Amer-- 233 00:15:36,452 --> 00:15:40,389 Ipacarus Tropicanus? Habitat: Verde Grosse jungle in Brazil! 234 00:15:40,456 --> 00:15:42,891 A picture of the Jpacarus Tropicanus! 235 00:15:42,958 --> 00:15:45,655 That's the dream of every bird photographer in the whole world! 236 00:15:45,728 --> 00:15:48,254 My dream too! Can you do it, Abner Peacock? 237 00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:50,992 Can you bring her close enough for that picture-- 238 00:15:51,066 --> 00:15:53,398 the picture that will rock the bird world... 239 00:15:53,469 --> 00:15:56,530 and bring fame and glory to Peacock Magazine? 240 00:15:56,605 --> 00:15:58,801 Can you do it, Abner Peacock? 241 00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,866 [ Imitates Bird Squawking ] What the hell was that? 242 00:16:01,944 --> 00:16:05,380 Beautiful! Save it! Save it! [ Continues Squawking ] 243 00:16:05,447 --> 00:16:08,348 There's a plane leaving for Brazil in two hours. 244 00:16:08,417 --> 00:16:12,376 Get on it, Abner Peacock. Bring back that dream! 245 00:16:12,454 --> 00:16:14,388 Abner! 246 00:16:14,456 --> 00:16:16,891 Excuse me. 247 00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:20,156 Rose Ellen, when I get back, 248 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,859 I want to ask you something. I'll be waiting. Bye. 249 00:16:23,933 --> 00:16:25,958 You've just time to pack. Let's go! 250 00:16:26,035 --> 00:16:30,529 W-Wait. Uh... one last look. 251 00:16:30,606 --> 00:16:32,540 I understand. 252 00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:45,442 Uh, Mr. Tremain. What is it? 253 00:16:45,521 --> 00:16:47,683 Oh, uh, it's Miss Pickering. 254 00:16:47,756 --> 00:16:51,158 She's been with the magazine ever since my grandfather. 255 00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:55,823 I promised that as long as there was a Peacock Magazine, there'd be a place for her. 256 00:16:55,898 --> 00:16:58,629 I"m afraid-- She only gets $21 a week. 257 00:16:58,701 --> 00:17:02,194 Always room for one more in the Tremain empire. Great. 258 00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,603 [ Chuckles ] Miss Pickering! 259 00:17:04,673 --> 00:17:07,608 Y-Y-Yes? You're goin' to New York! 260 00:17:07,676 --> 00:17:09,770 Ohh! N-New York? 261 00:17:09,845 --> 00:17:13,281 At last! New York! 262 00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:15,613 This is the last paper for you to sign. 263 00:17:15,684 --> 00:17:19,279 Don't bother reading it; just petty details my legal department insists on. 264 00:17:19,355 --> 00:17:22,154 Oh, okay. Oh, Miss Pickering, remember, 265 00:17:22,224 --> 00:17:24,784 for our cover, the scarlet tanager. 266 00:17:24,860 --> 00:17:29,661 - New York at last. New York! - We'll be at the airport any minute. 267 00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:34,260 I'd better explain: The luxury jet to Brazil was booked solid. 268 00:17:34,336 --> 00:17:37,465 However, the name Osborn Tremain does carry weight. 269 00:17:37,539 --> 00:17:40,634 So we were fortunate enough to get you aboard aspecial flight. 270 00:17:40,709 --> 00:17:42,871 [ Engine Sputtering ] 271 00:17:42,945 --> 00:17:46,575 When you land in Rio, there will be a chartered limousine waiting. 272 00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:49,880 [ Rattling ] 273 00:17:49,952 --> 00:17:54,514 1t will take you directly to La Plata, where a luxury launch will be waiting. 274 00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:56,991 [Chugging ] 275 00:17:57,059 --> 00:18:01,223 That will take you up the Amazon to the Verde Grosse jungle, 276 00:18:01,296 --> 00:18:05,494 the village of Padido. [ Men Fighting, Shouting In Native Language ] 277 00:18:05,567 --> 00:18:08,400 There you will be met by the most expert... 278 00:18:08,470 --> 00:18:11,929 and dependable guide of the Verde Grosse rain forest, 279 00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:16,444 the famous Jose Renaldo Rodriguez. 280 00:18:35,898 --> 00:18:39,334 Come right in, honey, I"m Miss Pickering. 281 00:18:39,401 --> 00:18:43,497 We're running a little late today, so just undress behind the screen there, dearie. 282 00:18:43,572 --> 00:18:46,303 [Evelyn] Fdna, honey? Coming, Ev, baby. 283 00:18:50,946 --> 00:18:53,438 This is it. This is it. 284 00:18:53,515 --> 00:18:56,143 Now you are standing in the exact middle... 285 00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,210 of the most thickest jungle in the world! 286 00:18:59,288 --> 00:19:03,191 It's exciting! It's really exciting! 287 00:19:03,258 --> 00:19:05,886 Jose. Huh? Oh. 288 00:19:05,961 --> 00:19:08,726 [ Squawking ] 289 00:19:12,367 --> 00:19:14,699 What's next? Huh? Oh. 290 00:19:14,770 --> 00:19:18,070 Let me see the instructions from Mr. Tremain. 291 00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:23,010 Looks like rain, huh? 292 00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:27,208 Rain! Doesn't look like rain to me. 293 00:19:27,282 --> 00:19:29,444 Sky looks just as clear as-- 294 00:19:30,486 --> 00:19:32,420 Jose! 295 00:19:33,889 --> 00:19:35,857 Jose! 296 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:38,586 [ Chuckles ] Jose? 297 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:40,651 [ Cork Pops ] 298 00:19:40,729 --> 00:19:44,359 [ Shouts ] Jose! Where'd he go? 299 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:48,199 [ Bird Squawking ] 300 00:19:50,506 --> 00:19:55,307 [ Imitates Squawking ] [ Bird Repeats Squawk ] 301 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:04,177 All right, everybody out! Get 'em in the wagon. [ Women Screaming ] 302 00:20:04,253 --> 00:20:08,156 Honest, I thought this was the Red Cross. I came to give blood. 303 00:20:08,223 --> 00:20:10,715 Get 'em in the wagon. Get those doors open! 304 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,728 What is the meaning of this? 305 00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,855 Get that coat off my wife's body! 306 00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:20,425 Osborn Tremain, as publisher of an obscene-- Osborn Tremain? Publisher? 307 00:20:20,502 --> 00:20:23,199 Who said he's the publisher? Oh, now, stop stalling, Fenton. 308 00:20:23,272 --> 00:20:25,536 The Attorney General recognized Evelyn. 309 00:20:25,607 --> 00:20:29,840 Did you hear that, Mother? Did you see where she's in the hammock with her legs up? 310 00:20:29,912 --> 00:20:33,143 Oh!'You know we have every legal right to stop publication. 311 00:20:33,215 --> 00:20:36,913 Of course, as soon as you've personally served the, uh, 312 00:20:36,985 --> 00:20:40,922 registered and legal publisher, Abner Peacock IV. 313 00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,219 Abner Peacock [V? 314 00:20:43,292 --> 00:20:46,421 Come on, back to work. 315 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:50,159 You won"t get away with it. If we have to call in every man in the F.B.IL,, 316 00:20:50,232 --> 00:20:53,202 we'll find this Abner Peacock in 24 hours. 317 00:20:53,268 --> 00:20:55,327 Wherever he is! 318 00:21:07,449 --> 00:21:09,383 [ Bird Squawking ] 319 00:21:19,928 --> 00:21:21,862 [ Squawks Continue ] 320 00:21:24,766 --> 00:21:26,700 [ Imitating Squawk ] 321 00:21:31,974 --> 00:21:34,534 [ Continues Squawking ] 322 00:21:45,854 --> 00:21:48,585 Mr. Hotchkiss, National Ornithologist? 323 00:21:51,326 --> 00:21:54,227 Mr. Peacock? Peacock Magazine? 324 00:21:57,466 --> 00:21:59,594 It was you who, uh-- 325 00:22:02,004 --> 00:22:05,133 A-And it was... you who... uh-- 326 00:22:08,443 --> 00:22:12,846 [Sobs] 327 00:22:12,915 --> 00:22:16,852 - Now, now, Mr. Hotchkiss. - We're never gonna be seen alive! 328 00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:21,015 Y-You're with a woodsman. we'll find the river. 329 00:22:22,691 --> 00:22:25,183 It's that way. [ Boat Whistle ] 330 00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:27,490 No, it's this way. 331 00:22:28,697 --> 00:22:31,462 It's this way, Mr. Hotchkiss! Follow me! 332 00:22:31,533 --> 00:22:33,399 [Screams ] 333 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:40,799 Over here! A boat, Mr. Hotchkiss! 334 00:22:40,876 --> 00:22:43,902 We're saved! 335 00:22:43,979 --> 00:22:47,381 Id just like to know what this whole thing's about, that's what. 336 00:22:47,449 --> 00:22:50,817 There's been a mistake! A mistake! [-- 337 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,933 [ Protesters ] Jail dirty Abner. Jail dirty Abner. 338 00:23:15,010 --> 00:23:16,500 Here he comes! [ Reporter ] Who put up your bail? 339 00:23:16,578 --> 00:23:20,139 Are you gonna fight? Hold it, Abner! 340 00:23:20,215 --> 00:23:25,016 [ People All Talking At Once] [Lady] Go back to Russia! 341 00:23:25,087 --> 00:23:27,055 Please! Please! Folks, listen! 342 00:23:27,122 --> 00:23:29,750 I'm not like you think at all! Honest. 343 00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:34,695 Anybody in Peacock City can tell you that I"m just a clean, decent-- 344 00:23:34,763 --> 00:23:37,061 Hello, Miss Keezy. [Spits] 345 00:23:37,132 --> 00:23:39,601 [ People Jeering ] 346 00:23:41,470 --> 00:23:46,203 You want the family to represent you? Really, nephew! 347 00:23:46,274 --> 00:23:51,110 Isn't the name of one Peacock in such a dirty case enough? 348 00:23:51,179 --> 00:23:55,776 But Uncle Amos, I don't have any money to hire a lawyer. Wh-What can I do? 349 00:23:55,851 --> 00:24:01,312 Do? Do what any decent man who honors his family would do. 350 00:24:01,390 --> 00:24:04,087 - Plead guilty! - Plead guilty? 351 00:24:04,159 --> 00:24:06,059 That way it's quick and done with. 352 00:24:06,128 --> 00:24:10,361 Just one headline: “Dirty Abner Gets Ten Years,” and it's all over. 353 00:24:10,432 --> 00:24:13,800 But I'm innocent! And if you won't help me, 354 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:16,930 there's plenty of people who will! 355 00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:31,876 [Boy] Hi, Mr. Peacock! 356 00:24:42,330 --> 00:24:44,196 Hi, Mr. Erickson! 357 00:24:49,304 --> 00:24:51,329 [ Tires Squealing ] 358 00:24:56,611 --> 00:24:58,545 Hello, Miss Keezy. 359 00:25:13,695 --> 00:25:17,097 [Abner] Who is it? We have to see you right away. 360 00:25:17,165 --> 00:25:19,156 ls it important? 361 00:25:19,234 --> 00:25:21,430 I"m right in the middle of doing something. 362 00:25:21,503 --> 00:25:23,995 It's very important, Mr. Peacock. 363 00:25:24,072 --> 00:25:27,702 It could be the most important thing in your life. 364 00:25:30,045 --> 00:25:32,241 [Lock Clicking Open] 365 00:25:32,314 --> 00:25:37,013 Mr. Peacock? We're attorneys from the Council for Constitutional Liberty. 366 00:25:37,085 --> 00:25:41,716 We want to represent you at your forthcoming trial. You want to be my lawyers? 367 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:45,693 We? Oh, no, Mr. Peacock. We'll be just assisting at the trial. 368 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,890 You'll be represented by Darrell Evans Hughes. 369 00:25:51,266 --> 00:25:54,861 Darrell Evans Hughes! 370 00:25:57,439 --> 00:25:59,373 Mr. Peacock, 371 00:25:59,441 --> 00:26:03,571 from this moment on, you can consider your case won. 372 00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:06,876 Now, until the trial, we're going to keep you hidden away in a hotel room. 373 00:26:06,948 --> 00:26:09,144 Away from all reporters, all television. 374 00:26:09,217 --> 00:26:11,709 No publicity. 375 00:26:11,786 --> 00:26:13,811 No publicity. 376 00:26:13,889 --> 00:26:17,484 Abner Peacock is being used as a scapegoat... 377 00:26:17,559 --> 00:26:20,426 to further the political ambitions of.. 378 00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:23,590 Your Attorney General Frederick Snow. 379 00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:26,657 I thought there wasn't gonna be any publicity. Shh. 380 00:26:26,735 --> 00:26:31,002 Abner Peacock-- slandered, prejudged, penniless-- 381 00:26:31,072 --> 00:26:33,063 is fighting for his life! 382 00:26:33,141 --> 00:26:36,406 But... heis also fighting for the rights... 383 00:26:36,478 --> 00:26:39,345 of every liberty-loving American... 384 00:26:39,414 --> 00:26:41,940 who cherishes his freedom of speech. 385 00:26:42,017 --> 00:26:45,351 Is Abner Peacock fighting alone? 386 00:26:45,420 --> 00:26:49,323 No! Abner Peacock is fighting the Establishment! 387 00:26:49,391 --> 00:26:52,019 Are we with him? [ Cheering ] 388 00:26:52,093 --> 00:26:55,927 If they jail Abner Peacock, they'll have to jail all of us! 389 00:26:55,997 --> 00:27:00,434 [Chanting ] Let him go! Let him go! 390 00:27:00,502 --> 00:27:05,099 Another campus, another demonstration over the Abner Peacock controversy... 391 00:27:05,173 --> 00:27:10,475 that is rocking the country and has exploded throughout the world. 392 00:27:10,545 --> 00:27:15,381 And now, by satellite, to Paris. 393 00:27:15,450 --> 00:27:19,546 [ Mob Yelling ] 394 00:27:30,365 --> 00:27:32,697 I sort of thought we were gonna keep this quiet. 395 00:27:32,767 --> 00:27:35,168 We're here in front of the Attorney General's office in Washington, 396 00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:37,797 where the picket line is now in its fourth day. 397 00:27:37,872 --> 00:27:42,173 He is fighting for our rights. Ifhe goes to jail, 398 00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:44,770 it'll be the end of free speech in America. 399 00:27:46,314 --> 00:27:50,808 Attorney General Frederick Snow ls stamping out our liberties. 400 00:27:50,885 --> 00:27:53,252 Freddie Snow must go! 401 00:27:53,321 --> 00:27:55,847 Freddie Snow must go! 402 00:27:55,924 --> 00:28:00,919 Freddie Snow must go! Freddie Snow must go! 403 00:28:00,996 --> 00:28:04,261 - Freddie Snow must go! - [Man ] Ladlies and gentlemen, the Attorney General. 404 00:28:05,934 --> 00:28:10,428 The truth is, Abner Peacock is not fighting for great principles. 405 00:28:10,505 --> 00:28:15,409 He is fighting for the privilege of dirtying America with smut like this! 406 00:28:19,014 --> 00:28:21,540 And this. 407 00:28:21,616 --> 00:28:24,176 More of his revolting nudity. 408 00:28:24,252 --> 00:28:28,052 Disgusting, isn't it? 409 00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:30,615 How do you like this? And this? 410 00:28:30,692 --> 00:28:33,787 Yes, isn't it wonderful? Me, on television! 411 00:28:33,862 --> 00:28:35,796 Everybody I know's been calling! 412 00:28:35,864 --> 00:28:38,561 Hurry! They're showing you in the hammock! 413 00:28:38,633 --> 00:28:41,728 Oh, I'll call you right back, Mother! 414 00:28:41,803 --> 00:28:44,238 [ Show On TV ] This is the smut Peacock has been spewing... 415 00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:46,798 into the homes of America. 416 00:28:46,875 --> 00:28:50,937 This dirt. This obscenity. This filth. 417 00:28:51,012 --> 00:28:54,573 This is the most beautiful moment of my life. 418 00:28:54,949 --> 00:28:56,849 [ Officer] All right, there's just so much room. 419 00:28:56,918 --> 00:28:59,114 [Woman] There he is! 420 00:28:59,187 --> 00:29:02,020 We're with you, Abner! Keep your cool, baby! 421 00:29:02,090 --> 00:29:04,718 Mr. Hughes, what will your strategy be? No comment. 422 00:29:04,793 --> 00:29:06,852 Abner, what do you think of your chances? Well, the truth-- 423 00:29:06,928 --> 00:29:10,922 Come on. [Rose Ellen] Abner! 424 00:29:10,999 --> 00:29:13,400 Hello. 425 00:29:18,940 --> 00:29:21,773 Hi, Uncle Amos. 426 00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:26,542 [ Man] Right here, boss. Look who's here. The golden girl of the magazine world. 427 00:29:26,614 --> 00:29:30,778 [ Reporters Laugh] Cool it, boys. I"m just slumming. 428 00:29:32,921 --> 00:29:35,390 I thought you might be able to use these, Mr. Hughes. 429 00:29:35,457 --> 00:29:39,052 This is a plaque of appreciation from my Boy Scout troop. 430 00:29:39,127 --> 00:29:43,530 These are some potholders made by my Sunday School class. 431 00:29:43,598 --> 00:29:45,532 Darrell! Fred. 432 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,763 Good to see you. How's Jean and the girls? 433 00:29:48,837 --> 00:29:51,465 Fine, thanks. Lucy and that big boy of yours? 434 00:29:51,539 --> 00:29:56,204 The kid went out for football. That figures. Rah, rah, for Rutgers, huh? 435 00:29:56,277 --> 00:29:59,941 Oh, I don't think you've met my client, Mr. Abner Peacock. 436 00:30:00,014 --> 00:30:03,575 Attorney General Snow. Hi. I guess it's been pretty tough on you. 437 00:30:03,651 --> 00:30:05,710 In a little while, it'll all be over. 438 00:30:05,787 --> 00:30:09,280 All I want is for the truth about me to come out. 439 00:30:09,357 --> 00:30:11,621 Well, that's what we're here for. 440 00:30:11,693 --> 00:30:13,787 [ Bailiff Pounding Gavel ] All rise. 441 00:30:13,862 --> 00:30:17,196 The Honorable Jucdge Jeremiah Claypool. 442 00:30:22,804 --> 00:30:26,832 The prosecution will proceed with its opening statement. 443 00:30:26,908 --> 00:30:30,503 Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, 444 00:30:30,578 --> 00:30:32,546 Mr. Darrell Evans Hughes, 445 00:30:32,614 --> 00:30:35,743 who, incidentally, I consider not only a close friend, 446 00:30:35,817 --> 00:30:39,117 but as our country's foremost fighter for justice... 447 00:30:39,187 --> 00:30:41,815 and human rights. 448 00:30:41,890 --> 00:30:46,555 Mr. Hughes, in one of his many television pretrial appearances, 449 00:30:46,628 --> 00:30:49,689 has suggested that as Attorney General, 450 00:30:49,764 --> 00:30:54,634 it should be I who should be seated at the defense table next to Mr. Peacock, 451 00:30:54,702 --> 00:30:59,105 protecting his rights of free and untrammeled expression. 452 00:30:59,174 --> 00:31:01,142 But I have another duty-- 453 00:31:01,209 --> 00:31:03,735 a higher duty to perform. 454 00:31:03,812 --> 00:31:05,803 And that is to protect you, 455 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:11,182 your children, the very morality of our nation, 456 00:31:11,252 --> 00:31:14,222 from the smut and moral corruption... 457 00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:16,519 spewed forth like garbage... 458 00:31:16,591 --> 00:31:20,755 from the lecherous, vile, lewd and licentious mind... 459 00:31:20,829 --> 00:31:24,060 of this filthy, little degenerate! 460 00:31:24,132 --> 00:31:28,694 Look at his face. It is the face of a smut monger. 461 00:31:28,770 --> 00:31:32,434 Look at his body: thin, wasted away... 462 00:31:32,507 --> 00:31:34,999 by the dissipation and debauchery... 463 00:31:35,076 --> 00:31:39,411 of a life of unspeakable orgies and depravity! 464 00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:42,473 What's the matter, Dirty Abner? 465 00:31:42,550 --> 00:31:44,712 Trying to hide from the truth? 466 00:31:44,786 --> 00:31:47,585 That's not the truth! That's-- [ Gavel Pounding ] 467 00:31:47,655 --> 00:31:51,387 Quiet. The defendant ls ably represented by counsel, 468 00:31:51,459 --> 00:31:53,985 There will be ample time for rebuttal. 469 00:31:54,062 --> 00:31:58,556 I"m sorry. Ah, you see? He says he's innocent. 470 00:31:58,633 --> 00:32:00,761 And he does look innocent... 471 00:32:00,835 --> 00:32:03,736 until you look into his eyes. 472 00:32:03,805 --> 00:32:07,571 They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex; 473 00:32:07,642 --> 00:32:09,940 eyes that mock our sacred institutions, 474 00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:13,845 “bedroom eyes,” they called them in a bygone day. 475 00:32:13,915 --> 00:32:19,012 They're the eyes of a man whose lust knows no bouncds, 476 00:32:19,087 --> 00:32:22,216 who lives but for corrupting others... 477 00:32:22,290 --> 00:32:27,524 to a life of carnal pleasures and lewd designs. 478 00:32:27,595 --> 00:32:31,589 A man whose erotic desires and libertine practices... 479 00:32:31,666 --> 00:32:34,033 are used to titillate the unsuspecting, 480 00:32:34,102 --> 00:32:36,434 who regards women as his playthings... 481 00:32:36,504 --> 00:32:41,533 and would stoop to any depths to satisfy his pornographic tastes. 482 00:32:41,609 --> 00:32:44,772 The Marquis de Sade would have regarded Abner Peacock... 483 00:32:44,846 --> 00:32:48,214 as a peer in his search for lechery. 484 00:32:48,283 --> 00:32:50,843 We can have a clean America, 485 00:32:50,919 --> 00:32:53,479 but only when we remove... 486 00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:56,752 this sex-ridden smut peddier... 487 00:32:56,824 --> 00:33:00,658 from the society he is bent upon destroying. 488 00:33:00,728 --> 00:33:02,662 [ Spectators Murmuring ] 489 00:33:02,730 --> 00:33:04,789 Will there be an opening statement from the defense? 490 00:33:04,866 --> 00:33:07,563 Yes, Your Honor. 491 00:33:07,635 --> 00:33:11,594 I got this for the Nicest Boy in Peacock City Contest. 492 00:33:11,673 --> 00:33:13,641 Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen, 493 00:33:13,708 --> 00:33:17,042 I have sat here and heard my client, Abner Peacock, called... 494 00:33:17,111 --> 00:33:19,307 “a filthy, obscene degenerate; 495 00:33:19,380 --> 00:33:22,748 “a sex-ridden, lascivious defiler of virtue; 496 00:33:22,817 --> 00:33:24,979 “whose lust knows no bounds, 497 00:33:25,053 --> 00:33:29,320 “whose publications have plumbed the depths of degradation; 498 00:33:29,390 --> 00:33:33,850 and are a reflection of his own sex-obsessed mind.” 499 00:33:34,929 --> 00:33:38,194 We're not going to argue about that. 500 00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:43,204 We can see that Abner Peacock Is everything the Attorney General has told you he is. 501 00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:47,936 It is the unsavory creatures like Abner Peacock... 502 00:33:48,009 --> 00:33:50,944 who test the strength of our Constitution, 503 00:33:51,012 --> 00:33:53,879 which, like our Rock of Gibraltar, 504 00:33:53,948 --> 00:33:57,043 has withstood challenge after challenge... 505 00:33:57,118 --> 00:34:01,385 in protecting our freedom of the press through the years. 506 00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:05,791 Now, ladies and gentlemen, are we to stand idly by... 507 00:34:05,860 --> 00:34:08,886 and allow the first crack to be made in this rock... 508 00:34:08,963 --> 00:34:12,194 because of this dirty little pornographer? 509 00:34:12,266 --> 00:34:14,428 [ Spectators Murmuring ] 510 00:34:14,502 --> 00:34:17,494 This is a dirty case... 511 00:34:17,572 --> 00:34:19,734 and a dirty little man. 512 00:34:19,807 --> 00:34:23,903 1t is with disgust to the point of nausea... 513 00:34:23,978 --> 00:34:28,814 that I find myself sitting next to this filthy little degenerate! 514 00:34:28,883 --> 00:34:32,319 But when [ see this filthy degenerate's... 515 00:34:32,387 --> 00:34:35,152 Constitutional rights being threatened, 516 00:34:35,223 --> 00:34:40,593 then I must take this filthy little degenerate into my arms, 517 00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:42,892 clasp him to my breast... 518 00:34:42,964 --> 00:34:46,229 and fight for this filthy [ittle degenerate's... 519 00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:48,598 Constitutional rights and liberty... 520 00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:51,401 with my very life! 521 00:34:53,141 --> 00:34:56,941 [ Cheering ] 522 00:35:02,583 --> 00:35:05,416 Now, let me warn you spectators. 523 00:35:05,486 --> 00:35:08,581 One more demonstration and you've had it. 524 00:35:08,656 --> 00:35:13,492 Prosecution may proceed, Ladies and gentlemen of the jury-- 525 00:35:13,561 --> 00:35:16,861 [ Spectators Murmuring ] 526 00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:20,524 [ Exhales ] Understand? Get everything you can on Peacock. 527 00:35:20,601 --> 00:35:23,229 [Man] Lisa, Lisa? I wonder if we could see you on television? 528 00:35:23,304 --> 00:35:27,434 We'd like to talk to you. Perhaps the most popular, and certainly most glamorous... 529 00:35:27,508 --> 00:35:31,536 of the big magazine editors, Lisa LaMonica of Finesse. 530 00:35:31,612 --> 00:35:35,845 Thank you, Ira. Lisa, I want to ask you, if Peacock is acquitted, 531 00:35:35,917 --> 00:35:38,648 what do you think will be the most significant result of the trial? 532 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:42,122 Financial. It will make Peacock a millionaire. 533 00:35:42,190 --> 00:35:44,215 [Ira] I mean the legal significance. 534 00:35:44,292 --> 00:35:47,990 Everybody will be anxiously awaiting the verdict, which will be a landmark. 535 00:35:48,062 --> 00:35:52,056 They're just waiting for the next Peacock. They'll sell millions. 536 00:35:52,133 --> 00:35:56,297 Millions. It's all legal. You've got the Peacock locked up! 537 00:35:56,370 --> 00:35:59,101 The jackpot! Yes, but you can't waste a minute. 538 00:35:59,173 --> 00:36:02,404 You have got to be on the street with ten million copies! 539 00:36:02,477 --> 00:36:06,846 Ten million? That'd take half a million dollars front money! 540 00:36:06,914 --> 00:36:10,578 - Getit. - A half-million dollars? With my credit? 541 00:36:10,651 --> 00:36:13,621 - Get it. - Where? 542 00:36:13,688 --> 00:36:16,123 You know where. 543 00:36:26,234 --> 00:36:28,965 Gorightin, please. 544 00:36:31,639 --> 00:36:35,598 This is an emergency. I've gotta see Ice Pick Charlie right away. 545 00:36:35,676 --> 00:36:37,804 You mean Mr. ]. Charles Twilight. 546 00:36:37,879 --> 00:36:41,338 That's right. I've gotta see... Mr. Twilight instantly. 547 00:36:41,415 --> 00:36:43,611 Mr. Twilight cannot be disturbed. 548 00:36:43,684 --> 00:36:45,846 This is his hour with Miss Love. 549 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:50,824 “Under a spreading chestnut tree, the village smitty stands. 550 00:36:50,892 --> 00:36:53,293 “The smit-- [ Enunciating Clearly ] Smith. 551 00:36:53,361 --> 00:36:55,762 Smith. Smithhh. 552 00:36:55,830 --> 00:36:59,095 “The Smithhh, amighty man s he, 553 00:36:59,167 --> 00:37:02,000 [ Slurring Words ] With large and sinewy hands.” 554 00:37:02,069 --> 00:37:05,869 - Sin-ew-y. - [ Exaggerating ] Sin-ew-y. 555 00:37:05,940 --> 00:37:09,843 A gentleman doesn't slur his middle vowels, does he, Charles? 556 00:37:09,911 --> 00:37:13,245 N-N-No, Miss Love. 557 00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:17,046 Now, this, uh, English composition that you did for your homework. 558 00:37:17,118 --> 00:37:20,213 “My Most Memorable Vacation.” 559 00:37:20,288 --> 00:37:22,757 [Sighs] Your grammar! 560 00:37:22,824 --> 00:37:26,556 “Until that time, me and Nutsy Herman”-- 561 00:37:26,627 --> 00:37:28,721 Nutsy Herman and ll. 562 00:37:28,796 --> 00:37:32,892 N-Nutsy Herman and I. 563 00:37:32,967 --> 00:37:37,666 “Until that time, Nutsy Herman and I got the contract to go to upstate New York... 564 00:37:37,738 --> 00:37:40,230 “to knock off Big-nose Schlossburg, 565 00:37:40,308 --> 00:37:44,609 I wasn't never out of Brooklyn before.” 566 00:37:44,679 --> 00:37:48,616 Oh, really, Charles. I'm shocked. 567 00:37:48,683 --> 00:37:51,175 And, uh, what was our new word for today? 568 00:37:51,252 --> 00:37:55,120 - Uh, prerogative. - Use it in a sentence, please. 569 00:37:55,189 --> 00:37:59,558 If Sally wishes to go to the dance with Robert, 570 00:37:59,627 --> 00:38:02,153 it's her prerogative. Good! 571 00:38:02,230 --> 00:38:04,927 And what was yesterday's new word? 572 00:38:04,999 --> 00:38:09,232 Fastidious. Oh, I love that word. [Intercom Buzzes I 573 00:38:10,304 --> 00:38:14,104 Hello. Yeah, send him in. 574 00:38:14,175 --> 00:38:17,907 Fastidious. I used that word 36 times yesterday. 575 00:38:17,979 --> 00:38:22,473 [ Cheerily] Mr. Twilight. I'm Osborn Tremain. 576 00:38:22,550 --> 00:38:26,248 Who the hell cares? Oh. Uh, Mr. Tremain, 577 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,414 may I present Miss Love? 578 00:38:28,489 --> 00:38:30,423 Miss Love, this is Mr. Tremain. 579 00:38:30,491 --> 00:38:32,823 Pleased to meet you, Mr. Tremain. 580 00:38:32,894 --> 00:38:37,263 - My pleasure, Miss Love. - And what may I do for you, Mr. Tremain? 581 00:38:37,331 --> 00:38:40,392 Uh, Mr. Twilight, I don't know if you remember me, 582 00:38:40,468 --> 00:38:45,065 but about five years ago, you invested a few thousand dollars in a-- 583 00:38:45,139 --> 00:38:48,473 a home movie I was making. 584 00:38:48,542 --> 00:38:51,910 Oh, yes, uh, I remember. How is your wife? 585 00:38:51,979 --> 00:38:54,311 Oh, she's fine. She still talks about you. 586 00:38:54,382 --> 00:38:57,113 Uh, Mr. Twilight, time is short. 587 00:38:57,184 --> 00:39:00,347 Have you ever thought of going into the publishing business? 588 00:39:00,421 --> 00:39:04,187 Publi-- Publishing. 589 00:39:04,258 --> 00:39:06,784 I've got the hottest magazine the world has ever seen! 590 00:39:06,861 --> 00:39:10,923 There's milfions in it! All I need is a mere half-million dollars... 591 00:39:10,998 --> 00:39:13,092 to get the first edition out. 592 00:39:13,167 --> 00:39:16,364 Publishing. Now, that's class. 593 00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:20,271 Well, sir, you wouldn't exactly be the publisher. 594 00:39:20,341 --> 00:39:24,039 Uh, Miss Love, would you please excuse us for a little while? 595 00:39:24,111 --> 00:39:26,842 Yes, I really must be running along. 596 00:39:26,914 --> 00:39:30,873 So nice to have met you, Mr. Tremain. My pleasure, Miss Love. 597 00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:34,388 Until tomorrow, Charles. Tomorrow, Miss Love. 598 00:39:45,833 --> 00:39:50,566 Tell it to me again, how for a half a million dollars I'm not gonna be the publisher. 599 00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:53,403 You're the publisher. You're the publisher. 600 00:39:53,474 --> 00:39:56,774 I'll just put out the magazine. 601 00:39:59,380 --> 00:40:01,747 You're gonna put out my magazine? 602 00:40:01,816 --> 00:40:04,285 A slimy, two-bit bum like you... 603 00:40:04,352 --> 00:40:08,050 put out a]. Charles Twilight publication? 604 00:40:08,122 --> 00:40:10,989 I want class. I want the best. 605 00:40:11,058 --> 00:40:13,390 Now, let's go and get it! 606 00:40:25,573 --> 00:40:28,008 [Judge] Has the jury reached 3 verdict? 607 00:40:28,075 --> 00:40:33,013 We have, Your Honor. We find the defendant, Abner Peacock, not guilty. 608 00:40:36,250 --> 00:40:40,153 Congratulations! I've never seen anything like it! 609 00:40:40,221 --> 00:40:44,249 [ Women Clamoring ] 610 00:40:50,264 --> 00:40:52,358 Craig, that's our story. 611 00:40:52,433 --> 00:40:56,666 After 200 years of sexual frustration when the Puritans stepped off the Mayflower, 612 00:40:56,737 --> 00:40:59,604 this country is exploding in a sex revolution, 613 00:40:59,673 --> 00:41:02,768 and Abner Peacock ls the flag bearer. That little pipsqueak? 614 00:41:02,843 --> 00:41:06,302 Itisnt what he is, it's what the public thinks heis: 615 00:41:06,380 --> 00:41:10,874 the great emancipator who's gonna dance naked in the moonlight. 616 00:41:10,951 --> 00:41:14,148 I saw the look on those women! Forget it. We're going with this. 617 00:41:14,221 --> 00:41:18,317 Oh, Craig, Ice Pick Charlie. You can go with that anytime. 618 00:41:18,392 --> 00:41:20,793 Now's the moment-- I said forget it. 619 00:41:20,861 --> 00:41:23,523 Lisa, when you have your own magazine, you can do it your way. 620 00:41:23,597 --> 00:41:26,498 This is my magazine. we'll do it my way. 621 00:41:26,567 --> 00:41:31,095 Craig, the public wants sex, sex and more sex! 622 00:41:31,172 --> 00:41:33,470 [Door Opens ] Miss LaMonica? 623 00:41:33,541 --> 00:41:36,977 ]. Charles Twilight at your service. 624 00:41:37,044 --> 00:41:41,072 ]. Charles Twilight. That's very elegant. 625 00:41:41,148 --> 00:41:44,448 Somehow I prefer your maiden name, Ice Pick Charlie. 626 00:41:44,518 --> 00:41:46,850 Freeze. 627 00:41:52,159 --> 00:41:54,821 I like what I see. 628 00:41:54,895 --> 00:41:57,262 Guts. 629 00:41:57,331 --> 00:42:02,167 Miss LaMonica, I'm taking over publication of a magazine. 630 00:42:02,236 --> 00:42:04,671 You're gonna put it out for me. 631 00:42:04,738 --> 00:42:09,608 [ Laughs] Work for you, Charlie? You're wasting your time. 632 00:42:09,677 --> 00:42:11,611 Hey. 633 00:42:13,147 --> 00:42:17,243 Miss LaMonica, perhaps you've heard of me. Osborn Tremain. 634 00:42:17,318 --> 00:42:19,548 And I just had the office cleaned. 635 00:42:19,620 --> 00:42:23,318 The magazine Mr. Twilight was referring to is the Peacock. 636 00:42:26,794 --> 00:42:29,456 The Peacock? In your own words, Miss LaMonica, 637 00:42:29,530 --> 00:42:32,465 the next issue will sell millions. 638 00:42:32,533 --> 00:42:35,764 You want me to put out a dirty, pornographic magazine? 639 00:42:35,836 --> 00:42:38,669 That's right. But it's gotta have class. 640 00:42:38,739 --> 00:42:41,071 Class. 641 00:42:41,142 --> 00:42:43,907 [Osborn] And sex. 642 00:42:43,978 --> 00:42:46,413 Complete control. My baby? 643 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,780 Your baby. Wait a minute! I was the one-- 644 00:42:49,850 --> 00:42:52,785 Shut up! Your baby. 645 00:42:52,853 --> 00:42:55,151 But it's gotta have class. 646 00:42:55,222 --> 00:42:58,749 And sex! Oh, it'll have sex. 647 00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:01,261 But written by the most famous authors. 648 00:43:01,328 --> 00:43:04,821 And we'll give them naked women, but the most famous bodies in the world, 649 00:43:04,899 --> 00:43:06,924 photographed by the greatest photographers! 650 00:43:07,001 --> 00:43:10,494 Boys, this isn't going to be something that people just buy and hide. 651 00:43:10,571 --> 00:43:12,733 This is gonna be a status symbol for swingers. 652 00:43:12,806 --> 00:43:15,036 It's a deal at three times the salary. 653 00:43:15,109 --> 00:43:17,737 What about Abner Peacock? Forget about him. He's out. 654 00:43:17,811 --> 00:43:21,543 Are you crazy? Without Abner Peacock we've got nothing! 655 00:43:21,615 --> 00:43:23,982 He's the gimmick; he's the image! 656 00:43:24,051 --> 00:43:27,043 He's the greatest built-in sex promotion since Valentino! 657 00:43:27,121 --> 00:43:29,249 That schnook? Whatever he is, 658 00:43:29,323 --> 00:43:32,725 right now, he's the answer to frustrated America's most wicked dreams. 659 00:43:32,793 --> 00:43:36,696 Sure, the first issue will sell miflions... out of curiosity. 660 00:43:36,764 --> 00:43:38,960 But what's gonna sell the magazine after that? 661 00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:42,196 Abner Peacock... on the front pages... on television-- 662 00:43:42,269 --> 00:43:46,433 mobbed, idolized, Mr. Sex, the new love god. 663 00:43:46,507 --> 00:43:48,737 Get Peacock. Actually, our relationship-- 664 00:43:48,809 --> 00:43:50,868 Get him! Get him. 665 00:43:51,545 --> 00:43:54,571 I want that picture of Ice Pick Charlie shaking hands with the governor. 666 00:43:54,648 --> 00:43:58,209 [Door Opens ] I said I was not to be dist-- 667 00:43:58,285 --> 00:44:03,052 Mr. Frazier? ]. Charles Twilight, at your service. 668 00:44:03,123 --> 00:44:06,457 Just dropped in to see what a publisher's office looks like. 669 00:44:06,527 --> 00:44:10,987 If I'm intruding, throw me out. It's your prerogative. 670 00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:14,899 Oh, no. No, be free to look around. 671 00:44:14,969 --> 00:44:17,597 Thank you. 672 00:44:21,175 --> 00:44:23,769 This is it. 673 00:44:23,844 --> 00:44:26,506 This shows good breeding. 674 00:44:28,182 --> 00:44:32,278 Used to play this when I was a kid. Checkers. 675 00:44:32,353 --> 00:44:37,086 This is beautiful, just beautiful. 676 00:44:38,492 --> 00:44:41,553 This is class. 677 00:44:41,629 --> 00:44:45,532 Very fastidious. Oh, thank you. 678 00:44:45,599 --> 00:44:48,125 Hey, leather patches. 679 00:44:48,202 --> 00:44:50,603 It's just an old rag from college. 680 00:44:50,671 --> 00:44:53,868 May 1? Oh, of course. 681 00:44:53,941 --> 00:44:57,138 Hey, Pete. 682 00:44:57,211 --> 00:44:59,339 By the way, Miss LaMonica's going to work for me. 683 00:44:59,413 --> 00:45:01,848 She's gonna put out a magazine I just took over. 684 00:45:01,915 --> 00:45:05,715 I"m afraid that's impossible, you see, I have a five-year contract with her. 685 00:45:05,786 --> 00:45:08,619 [ Laughs] [ Chuckles Awkwardly ] 686 00:45:09,990 --> 00:45:14,223 Got a sense of humor. You're all right. The family? 687 00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:18,061 Yes, yes. That's my wife, Pamela, 688 00:45:18,132 --> 00:45:22,569 and my son, Craig, Jr., and my older daughter, Penny, 689 00:45:22,636 --> 00:45:25,071 and this is Cynthia, the baby. 690 00:45:25,139 --> 00:45:28,165 This, you gotta be born with. 691 00:45:28,242 --> 00:45:32,304 This, money can't buy. 692 00:45:32,379 --> 00:45:37,044 Congratulations on your excellent taste, Mr. Frazier. Well, thank you! 693 00:45:37,117 --> 00:45:41,384 Thank me? Thank you! 694 00:45:41,455 --> 00:45:44,516 Have one of our trucks pick this all up right away. 695 00:45:44,591 --> 00:45:46,389 You're all right. 696 00:45:51,765 --> 00:45:54,735 How's it feel? How do you feel, now the case is over? 697 00:45:54,802 --> 00:45:59,399 This case sss7'f over, and it won't be over until the truth about me is told. 698 00:45:59,473 --> 00:46:03,535 Chief I We won! We won! 699 00:46:06,747 --> 00:46:08,806 Rose Ellen! 700 00:46:08,882 --> 00:46:10,816 Uh, would you excuse me? 701 00:46:10,884 --> 00:46:14,445 Rose Ellen, you shouldn't be seen with me till I clear my name. 702 00:46:14,521 --> 00:46:16,615 No, Abner, my place is by your side. 703 00:46:17,691 --> 00:46:19,625 All right, I"m gonna do it right now. 704 00:46:19,693 --> 00:46:24,358 Ah, folks! Uh, it's time that the true facts come out. 705 00:46:24,431 --> 00:46:26,923 Now-- Oh, uh-- Mr. Hughes! 706 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,560 I suppose that I ought to thank you, but-- 707 00:46:29,636 --> 00:46:32,367 You can thank me by seeing to it... 708 00:46:32,439 --> 00:46:34,931 that I never have to set eyes on you again. 709 00:46:35,008 --> 00:46:38,945 You're free aren't you? So run along and publish your filthy little magazine. 710 00:46:39,012 --> 00:46:41,879 I'm not gonna publish any filthy magazine. 711 00:46:41,949 --> 00:46:46,853 You're not? No. I want to go back and publish my bird magazine. 712 00:46:46,920 --> 00:46:49,355 Abner. 713 00:46:52,393 --> 00:46:55,761 [ Reporters ] What's going on? How about a statement? 714 00:46:55,829 --> 00:46:59,493 This is horrible. This is just horrible. 715 00:46:59,566 --> 00:47:02,297 But I gave Mr. Shrader and Mr. Rich all the facts. 716 00:47:02,369 --> 00:47:05,066 Yes, I know! They told me. 717 00:47:05,139 --> 00:47:08,109 Some cockamamie story about you chasing a bird... 718 00:47:08,175 --> 00:47:11,668 all through some South American jungle. 719 00:47:11,745 --> 00:47:16,410 Fven ifit were true, even if believed it, 1'd be laughed out of court. 720 00:47:16,483 --> 00:47:19,282 You'd have wound up in jail. Abner, you can't do this to us! 721 00:47:19,353 --> 00:47:22,448 You can't do this to the cause of Constitutional liberty! 722 00:47:22,523 --> 00:47:26,118 But all I want is to go back and publish my bird magazine! 723 00:47:26,193 --> 00:47:28,321 Ha-ha! Bird magazine! 724 00:47:28,395 --> 00:47:32,298 Abner, don't you realize... 725 00:47:32,366 --> 00:47:35,131 that people all over the world have fought for you? 726 00:47:35,202 --> 00:47:38,035 They've had their heads broken, been thrown into jail... 727 00:47:38,105 --> 00:47:41,336 for your right to publish a filthy magazine? 728 00:47:41,408 --> 00:47:44,844 I"m sorry, but I just can't publish a dirty magazine. 729 00:47:44,912 --> 00:47:48,109 You've got to prove to the world just how free our press is! 730 00:47:48,182 --> 00:47:51,948 B-But I wouldn't know the first thing about publishing filth. 731 00:47:52,019 --> 00:47:54,716 You're young! You can learn. 732 00:47:54,788 --> 00:47:57,655 Abner is a clean, decent human being. 733 00:47:57,724 --> 00:48:00,750 Just when our country needs adirty little degenerate, 734 00:48:00,828 --> 00:48:04,287 we're stuck with a clean, decent human being! 735 00:48:04,364 --> 00:48:06,492 [ Reporters Murmuring ] 736 00:48:06,567 --> 00:48:09,298 [Man] It's Attorney General Snow! 737 00:48:12,072 --> 00:48:15,337 Your good name! What about the good name of your country... 738 00:48:15,409 --> 00:48:17,878 with the world watching ajury... 739 00:48:17,945 --> 00:48:21,472 reaffirm your Constitutional right to publish filth? 740 00:48:21,548 --> 00:48:23,346 So what happens? 741 00:48:23,417 --> 00:48:28,548 You come out with some namby-pamby magazine about the birds and flowers! 742 00:48:28,622 --> 00:48:32,058 Just birds. The flowers is a field. We never went into it. 743 00:48:32,125 --> 00:48:34,321 Abner Peacock, 744 00:48:34,394 --> 00:48:39,389 if you love your country, you'll publish a filthy magazine. 745 00:48:39,466 --> 00:48:43,164 [ Exhales ] 746 00:48:43,237 --> 00:48:46,366 Abner! I heard all about it. Uncle Amos! 747 00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,603 Don't worry, I"m not gonna publish any dirty magazine. 748 00:48:49,676 --> 00:48:51,542 Don't you ever think of anybody but yourself? 749 00:48:52,579 --> 00:48:55,981 Your associate has been kind enough to explain... 750 00:48:56,049 --> 00:48:58,541 that there are millions to be made; 751 00:48:58,619 --> 00:49:02,681 that an important financier ls backing the magazine with hundreds of thousands! 752 00:49:02,756 --> 00:49:06,556 Lisa LaMonica herself has quit Finesse to edit the new Peacock. 753 00:49:06,627 --> 00:49:10,188 Lisa LaMonica! Abner. 754 00:49:10,264 --> 00:49:12,426 Even if you don't want to go along with it, 755 00:49:12,499 --> 00:49:16,367 have the decency to see her tomorrow and tell her to her face. 756 00:49:21,341 --> 00:49:23,400 I guess it would be the decent thing to do. 757 00:49:23,477 --> 00:49:27,744 Abner, if you think so, then it must be the decent thing to do. 758 00:49:29,983 --> 00:49:32,179 All right. I'll tell her. 759 00:49:32,252 --> 00:49:35,745 But Rose Ellen, tomorrow night, after it's all over, 760 00:49:35,822 --> 00:49:38,883 I want you to be sitting on the swing of your veranda, 761 00:49:38,959 --> 00:49:41,929 because I'm gonna come callin' on you... 762 00:49:41,995 --> 00:49:45,488 to ask you something very important. 763 00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:49,093 I'll be waiting, Abner. 764 00:49:54,207 --> 00:49:56,904 [ Women Exclaiming ] 765 00:50:01,715 --> 00:50:05,117 There he is! [ Women Screaming ] 766 00:50:17,364 --> 00:50:20,356 Good morning, boss. Oh, uh, I"m not-- 767 00:50:29,543 --> 00:50:31,773 Good morning, Mr. Peacock. Oh, uh-- 768 00:50:31,845 --> 00:50:34,280 Good morning, Mr. Peacock. Good morning. 769 00:50:34,348 --> 00:50:36,817 Good morning, Mr. Peacock. Morning. 770 00:50:36,883 --> 00:50:38,874 Good morning, Mr. Peacock. 771 00:50:46,627 --> 00:50:48,925 [ Clears Throat ] 772 00:50:48,996 --> 00:50:52,830 Excuse me, Id like to see-- 773 00:50:52,899 --> 00:50:55,061 Miss Pickering! Hi, kid. 774 00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:57,069 [ Laughs] Gee, Miss Pickering, you look so... uh-- 775 00:50:57,137 --> 00:51:00,596 Mr. Peacock? Oh, Miss LaMonica? 776 00:51:00,674 --> 00:51:06,113 Mr. Peacock. Oh, just think of the excitement, the challenge the two of us face! 777 00:51:06,179 --> 00:51:08,910 Uh, well, actually, Miss LaMonica, 778 00:51:08,982 --> 00:51:11,849 see, I'm here to explain. 779 00:51:11,918 --> 00:51:14,910 Lisa, darling! Frica! 780 00:51:14,988 --> 00:51:19,221 Abner, you recognize Erica Lane, of course? 781 00:51:19,292 --> 00:51:23,092 Erica Lane. I saw your last picture six times. 782 00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:27,862 And you must be that wonderful Mr. Peacock who's making this all possible. 783 00:51:27,934 --> 00:51:32,201 You better get ready, Frica. We've flown Valdez in from Paris to do your photography. 784 00:51:32,272 --> 00:51:36,175 Oh, I'm-- I"m so excited! 785 00:51:40,514 --> 00:51:45,452 That was Erica Lane. On the cover of our first issue. Nude, of course. 786 00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:48,614 Nude! Nude? 787 00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:50,885 Of course. Now let's get down to business. 788 00:51:50,957 --> 00:51:53,551 Miss LaMonical Uh-- 789 00:51:53,627 --> 00:51:56,096 This is awfully hard to say, 790 00:51:56,163 --> 00:51:58,689 but before you go ahead and spend any more money, 791 00:51:58,765 --> 00:52:01,894 I"m just afraid this is impossible. 792 00:52:01,968 --> 00:52:03,902 [ Chuckles ] Impossible. 793 00:52:03,970 --> 00:52:07,304 Nothing is impossible. Together we can meet the challenge. 794 00:52:07,374 --> 00:52:11,368 [ Chuckles Awkwardly ] Well, I didn't mean it exactly that way. 795 00:52:11,445 --> 00:52:16,246 I mean, you see, I just can't allow the name of Peacock... 796 00:52:16,316 --> 00:52:20,150 to be associated with a magazine like, uh-- Like what? 797 00:52:20,220 --> 00:52:24,020 Well, like, uh-- [ Chuckles Awkwardly ] 798 00:52:24,091 --> 00:52:28,688 Miss Erica Lane on the cover without a stitch of clothes on. 799 00:52:28,762 --> 00:52:31,527 Mr. Peacock, can you think of a stitch that Miss Lane could possibly wear... 800 00:52:31,598 --> 00:52:33,896 that would be more beautiful than what it's covering? 801 00:52:33,967 --> 00:52:36,629 Than what it's covering? 802 00:52:36,703 --> 00:52:40,606 [ Chuckles ] Well, uh... no. 803 00:52:40,674 --> 00:52:42,472 Abner, sit down. 804 00:52:44,344 --> 00:52:48,076 I think we should have a talk. Man-to-man. 805 00:52:48,148 --> 00:52:52,517 Mr. Peacock, as a modern, sophisticated editor, 806 00:52:52,586 --> 00:52:56,079 you must know from your own experience that sex-- 807 00:52:56,156 --> 00:52:58,887 uninhibited, frank and open is one of nature's greatest joys. 808 00:52:58,959 --> 00:53:02,862 [Coughs ] Well, uh-- 809 00:53:02,929 --> 00:53:05,990 Actually, I haven't had a lot of, uh... 810 00:53:06,066 --> 00:53:08,000 [ Clears Throat ] What I mean is-- 811 00:53:08,068 --> 00:53:12,596 Now, Mr. Peacock, this is no time to be coy. A man like you! 812 00:53:12,672 --> 00:53:15,369 [ Exhales ] Well-- 813 00:53:15,442 --> 00:53:17,774 That's why the Peacock Magazine is going to be clean. 814 00:53:17,844 --> 00:53:21,872 You and I are gonna take sex and put it where it belongs-- out in the open. 815 00:53:23,950 --> 00:53:26,783 Yes, the Peacock Magazine is gonna be a sex magazine-- 816 00:53:26,853 --> 00:53:28,651 but clean sex, 817 00:53:28,722 --> 00:53:32,022 purified by frankness and open discussion. 818 00:53:32,092 --> 00:53:35,824 Abner, American men and women are begging... 819 00:53:35,896 --> 00:53:38,126 to break the chains of their Puritanical heritage, 820 00:53:38,198 --> 00:53:41,896 to free them of their sexual frustrations. 821 00:53:41,968 --> 00:53:44,562 [ Chair Swivels Down] They're crying to us, Abner. 822 00:53:44,638 --> 00:53:46,572 Let us take up the gauntlet. 823 00:53:46,640 --> 00:53:49,803 Together, let us create a great new magazine. 824 00:53:49,876 --> 00:53:54,438 Well, uh, you see, I don't know how I could be of much help in that field. 825 00:53:54,514 --> 00:53:58,917 Birds are my line. I really don't know-- You don't know? 826 00:53:58,985 --> 00:54:01,113 Abner, you're the whole ball of wax! 827 00:54:01,188 --> 00:54:05,022 The public will only accept that the Peacock is the world's number one swinging magazine... 828 00:54:05,091 --> 00:54:08,061 if they believe that the man behind it is the world's number one swinger. 829 00:54:08,128 --> 00:54:11,826 You, Abner Peacock. [ Chuckles Sheepishly ] Me... a swinger. 830 00:54:11,898 --> 00:54:16,426 Miss LaMonica, I-l never swung, uh-- 831 00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:20,940 You see, those things they said about me at the trial-- That's not me. 832 00:54:21,007 --> 00:54:24,966 I"m just an editor of a bird magazine. I'm just plain-- 833 00:54:25,045 --> 00:54:28,675 I know all about you-- what every woman in that courtroom knows, 834 00:54:28,748 --> 00:54:30,682 every woman who saw you on television! 835 00:54:30,750 --> 00:54:33,583 Let's not play games! 836 00:54:33,653 --> 00:54:36,213 What are you talking about? You know very well what I'm talking about. 837 00:54:36,289 --> 00:54:39,224 The fact that you possess a fantastic sexual magnetism! 838 00:54:39,292 --> 00:54:43,695 A sexual attraction that has stirred women like nothing before; 839 00:54:43,763 --> 00:54:46,733 a sexual excitement that even [-- 840 00:54:48,802 --> 00:54:52,830 Evenl-- [ Clears Throat ] 841 00:54:52,906 --> 00:54:56,934 Uh, Miss LaMonica-- Are you happy, Abner Peacock? 842 00:54:57,010 --> 00:54:58,842 You made me say it. 843 00:54:58,912 --> 00:55:02,075 You have the satisfaction of watching hard-boiled Lisa LaMonica... 844 00:55:02,148 --> 00:55:04,515 panting like some hot-breathed teenager. 845 00:55:04,584 --> 00:55:09,488 Is your vanity appeased? Or are you cruel enough to make me say it again? 846 00:55:09,556 --> 00:55:12,218 Uh, uh, you don't have to say it again. 847 00:55:12,292 --> 00:55:15,489 Uh, what you said there was, uh--That, uh-- 848 00:55:15,562 --> 00:55:19,658 [ Clears Throat ] Actually, see, I never considered myself, uh... 849 00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:22,498 [Inhales] unattractive. 850 00:55:22,569 --> 00:55:26,767 I always thought I had a certain amount of... uh-- 851 00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:29,070 But... not like that. 852 00:55:29,142 --> 00:55:31,440 Yes. Like that. 853 00:55:31,511 --> 00:55:35,038 Abner Peacock, are you or are you not gonna lead America... 854 00:55:35,115 --> 00:55:37,447 out of the darkness of its Victorian sex life? 855 00:55:37,517 --> 00:55:40,350 Yes or no? Well... l- 856 00:55:40,420 --> 00:55:45,449 Don't answer that right now. Let me show you the people who have faith in you! 857 00:55:46,826 --> 00:55:50,763 - Charles. - My dear. 858 00:55:50,830 --> 00:55:54,528 Abner, I'd like you to meet Mr. Twilight, your copublisher. 859 00:55:54,601 --> 00:55:56,535 Your silent copublisher. 860 00:55:56,603 --> 00:56:00,506 My pleasure. How do you do, Mr. Twilight. 861 00:56:00,573 --> 00:56:04,476 Gee, Miss LaMonica was telling me about all the money you've invested. 862 00:56:04,544 --> 00:56:07,309 Nothing. Nothing. It's my prerogative. 863 00:56:09,516 --> 00:56:13,544 Oh! My, what a beautiful office you have. Thank you. 864 00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:16,021 Oh, is this your family? 865 00:56:16,089 --> 00:56:21,050 That's my wife, Pamela; myson, Craig, Jr., my daughter, Pammy; 866 00:56:21,127 --> 00:56:24,825 and that's the little baby, Cynthia. 867 00:56:24,898 --> 00:56:28,300 Well, you certainly have a wonderful family. 868 00:56:28,368 --> 00:56:30,097 Thank you. 869 00:56:30,170 --> 00:56:34,505 Get out of my way! Don't worry. Don't worry! [Crying] 870 00:56:34,574 --> 00:56:39,011 What is this nonsense about Evelyn not being on the cover of our first issue? 871 00:56:39,079 --> 00:56:41,707 Osborn, we'll discuss that later. 872 00:56:41,781 --> 00:56:43,943 There's nothing to discuss! 873 00:56:44,017 --> 00:56:48,887 Get into your garter belt, Mother. You're gonna be on that cover. 874 00:56:48,955 --> 00:56:51,686 That'll be the day! Not on the cover of my magazine. 875 00:56:51,758 --> 00:56:54,784 Oh, so it's your magazine! 876 00:56:54,861 --> 00:56:58,957 Now, now. If there's a difference of opinion, 877 00:56:59,032 --> 00:57:02,991 I'm sure Mr. Tremain and I can settle it like gentlemen. 878 00:57:03,069 --> 00:57:07,404 Nice to have met you, Mr. Peacock. Areal pleasure. 879 00:57:07,474 --> 00:57:10,933 See you later, Charles. Ta-ta, Lisa. 880 00:57:11,011 --> 00:57:13,946 What did you think of him? He's just folks! 881 00:57:14,014 --> 00:57:18,315 [ Banging Against Door ] 882 00:57:18,385 --> 00:57:21,184 Come on! I wanna show you something. 883 00:57:21,254 --> 00:57:24,280 Good morning, Miss Love. Good morning. 884 00:57:24,357 --> 00:57:27,054 Good morning, Miss Love. Richard. 885 00:57:27,127 --> 00:57:31,758 An old retired schoolteacher for whom Mr. Twilight has created a new and useful life. 886 00:57:31,831 --> 00:57:34,425 What a wonderful human being. 887 00:57:34,501 --> 00:57:36,902 Now, on to your penthouse. 888 00:57:44,477 --> 00:57:48,072 We haven't had much time. We're still putting it all together. 889 00:57:48,148 --> 00:57:50,082 Uh-huh. 890 00:57:56,022 --> 00:57:58,514 We're gonna keep your pussycats in there. 891 00:57:58,591 --> 00:58:01,891 My, uh, p-p-pussycats? 892 00:58:01,961 --> 00:58:04,328 1t's all very obvious, of course. 893 00:58:04,397 --> 00:58:08,766 But then when you're trying to personify blatant sex, it usually is. 894 00:58:08,835 --> 00:58:10,803 Oh, how true. 895 00:58:10,870 --> 00:58:15,171 - Abner? - Uh, oh, oh. 896 00:58:21,848 --> 00:58:25,944 Good morning, Mr. Peacock. It's your household staff. 897 00:58:26,019 --> 00:58:27,953 Uh, uh, my staff? 898 00:58:28,021 --> 00:58:31,355 They were just tidying up your bedroom. That's enough for now, girls. 899 00:58:37,597 --> 00:58:39,725 [ Chuckles ] Your bed. 900 00:58:39,799 --> 00:58:42,234 Itis amusing, st it? 901 00:58:42,969 --> 00:58:44,232 [ Laughs Weakly] 902 00:58:49,576 --> 00:58:52,978 Uh, Miss LaMonica, I'm sure that you know what you're doing, 903 00:58:53,046 --> 00:58:55,708 but I, uh-- 904 00:58:57,450 --> 00:59:00,215 These are your world-famous Peacock Pussycats. 905 00:59:00,286 --> 00:59:02,084 My, uh, pussycats? 906 00:59:02,155 --> 00:59:05,682 Yes, they'll be with you wherever you go, 24 hours a day. 907 00:59:05,758 --> 00:59:10,218 Sherry, Delilah, Toma and Ingrid. 908 00:59:10,296 --> 00:59:12,458 [ Clears Throat ] Hi. 909 00:59:12,532 --> 00:59:15,524 Girls, you and Mr. Peacock have a rather heavy schedule, 910 00:59:15,602 --> 00:59:18,333 so I suggest you go to your rooms and start dressing. 911 00:59:18,404 --> 00:59:20,338 Yes, Miss LaMonica. 912 00:59:29,582 --> 00:59:31,346 Their rooms? Yes. 913 00:59:31,417 --> 00:59:34,114 Th-they live right here with me? 914 00:59:34,187 --> 00:59:36,315 - Yes! -[Chuckles] 915 00:59:38,358 --> 00:59:43,023 - I mean, aren't people gonna think, uh-- - Frankly, yes, they will. 916 00:59:44,330 --> 00:59:47,493 [ Embarrassed Laugh ] Miss LaMonica, 917 00:59:47,567 --> 00:59:49,501 this-- this whole business of-- 918 00:59:49,569 --> 00:59:54,564 - is pretty silly about me, uh, being a-- - A sex symbol? 919 00:59:54,641 --> 00:59:58,202 I mean, I'm just an ordinary guy who has a-- 920 00:59:58,278 --> 01:00:01,441 well, certain amount of a-- but-- 921 01:00:01,514 --> 01:00:05,747 I still consider myself a decent, uh-- Miss LaMonica. 922 01:00:05,818 --> 01:00:08,082 Uh, M-M-M-Miss LaMonica. 923 01:00:11,324 --> 01:00:13,258 Uh. 924 01:00:13,326 --> 01:00:15,488 Promise me you'll never let me do that again! 925 01:00:15,562 --> 01:00:17,690 Well, - I-l pro-- Promise me that! 926 01:00:17,764 --> 01:00:20,699 If I even touch you, you'll hit me, slap me, anything to stop me! 927 01:00:20,767 --> 01:00:24,032 - I prom-- - In the name of heaven, don't let me destroy the-- 928 01:00:24,103 --> 01:00:26,697 the independence that I've worked so hard to achieve... 929 01:00:26,773 --> 01:00:29,743 just because for the first time I've met the only man who-- 930 01:00:29,809 --> 01:00:33,211 Promise me! Promise me! I prom-- 931 01:00:36,082 --> 01:00:39,017 [ Phone Ringing ] 932 01:00:40,954 --> 01:00:44,788 Rose Ellen, it's Abner. 933 01:00:50,630 --> 01:00:53,327 [t-- It's just like Uncle Amos said Rose Ellen. 934 01:00:53,399 --> 01:00:56,892 I really can't go through life thinking only of myself. 935 01:00:56,970 --> 01:01:01,532 And after everything these people have invested, I really have to go along with them. 936 01:01:01,608 --> 01:01:03,201 B-B-But it's clearly understood... 937 01:01:03,276 --> 01:01:07,543 it's only until the first issue of the magazine hits the stands. 938 01:01:07,614 --> 01:01:11,915 - Then I"m through! - Abner, if you think it's the right thing, 939 01:01:11,985 --> 01:01:13,919 then you must do it. 940 01:01:14,420 --> 01:01:17,082 And Rose Ellen-- 941 01:01:17,156 --> 01:01:21,753 [ Clears Throat ] Would you excuse me for a minute, girls. 942 01:01:21,828 --> 01:01:25,389 Rose Ellen, promise me one thing: 943 01:01:25,465 --> 01:01:28,662 The day the first issue of the magazine hits the stands, 944 01:01:28,735 --> 01:01:32,433 that very night you'll be sitting on the swing of the old veranda... 945 01:01:32,505 --> 01:01:35,406 "cause someone's gonna come callin' on you; 946 01:01:35,475 --> 01:01:38,445 someone who wants to ask you something very important. 947 01:01:38,511 --> 01:01:40,809 I'll be waiting, Abner. 948 01:01:55,762 --> 01:01:58,094 [ Clears Throat ] Miss LaMonica-- Perfection. 949 01:01:58,164 --> 01:02:00,997 There isn't a reporter in New York that hasn't been alerted. 950 01:02:01,067 --> 01:02:05,129 But I feel so silly. I"m just not-- Oh, yes you are. 951 01:02:05,204 --> 01:02:08,435 You're fantastic. You're simply-- Watch it. 952 01:02:08,508 --> 01:02:11,102 Remember the-- the promise. 953 01:02:11,177 --> 01:02:13,111 Thank you! 954 01:02:15,515 --> 01:02:17,449 Good luck. 955 01:02:20,186 --> 01:02:23,121 [ Laughs] Can you believe that? I hope you didn't overdo it. 956 01:02:23,189 --> 01:02:25,988 The country may not be ready for Abner Peacock. 957 01:02:26,059 --> 01:02:27,993 I'll make it ready! 958 01:02:28,061 --> 01:02:32,658 [ Clamoring ] 959 01:02:52,985 --> 01:02:55,920 [ Clamoring, Screaming ] 960 01:03:02,829 --> 01:03:04,627 [ Crowd Clamoring ] 961 01:03:31,791 --> 01:03:36,251 [ No Audible Dialogue ] 962 01:03:44,971 --> 01:03:49,101 [ Fireworks Exploding ] 963 01:04:27,980 --> 01:04:30,972 [ Charlie] Everybody, let's hear it for Abner! 964 01:04:31,050 --> 01:04:33,348 [ Cheering ] 965 01:04:36,422 --> 01:04:38,823 [ Phone Ringing ] 966 01:04:44,530 --> 01:04:48,524 Forty million copies! Can you imagine that, Rose Ellen? 967 01:04:50,203 --> 01:04:54,106 [ Chuckles ] Uh, I guess you've been seeing a lot of me... 968 01:04:54,173 --> 01:04:56,540 on television and in the newspapers? 969 01:04:56,609 --> 01:05:01,979 Oh, yes, Abner! You seem to be everywhere do-doing everything! 970 01:05:02,048 --> 01:05:06,417 Oh, no! It's just that I"m worried. You look so thin. 971 01:05:06,486 --> 01:05:09,581 Well, it's not easy, Rose Ellen. 972 01:05:09,655 --> 01:05:12,750 But as I said, an obligation's an obligation. 973 01:05:12,825 --> 01:05:14,953 Poor Abner. 974 01:05:15,027 --> 01:05:19,055 But thank heavens the first issue is out and it's all over! 975 01:05:19,131 --> 01:05:21,031 [ Clears Throat ] Well, uh, 976 01:05:21,100 --> 01:05:23,694 th-that's what I called about, Rose Ellen. 977 01:05:23,769 --> 01:05:27,569 You see, Miss LaMonica and Mr. Twilight-- 978 01:05:27,640 --> 01:05:30,405 By the way, he's a wonderful guy! 979 01:05:30,476 --> 01:05:33,275 Uh, anyway, they came up with this fantastic idea. 980 01:05:33,346 --> 01:05:37,180 They want to open a nightclub called the “Peacock Club.” Isn't that mad? 981 01:05:37,250 --> 01:05:40,083 - [ Hesitant Laugh] - But, Rose Ellen, 982 01:05:40,152 --> 01:05:42,519 the day after that club opens-- 983 01:05:42,588 --> 01:05:46,616 I'll be waiting, Abner. 984 01:05:51,797 --> 01:05:55,734 [ Chattering ] 985 01:05:58,004 --> 01:06:00,939 [ Applause, Cheering ] 986 01:06:20,626 --> 01:06:24,358 Those stupid women! Eating him up with their eyes. 987 01:06:24,430 --> 01:06:26,364 Making fools of themselves! 988 01:06:26,432 --> 01:06:28,867 What's it to you? 989 01:06:28,935 --> 01:06:32,132 Me? I just can't stand bad taste, that's all. 990 01:06:32,204 --> 01:06:35,265 [ Woman Laughing ] 991 01:06:37,043 --> 01:06:40,308 That does it! She's fired! She was whispering in his ear! 992 01:06:40,379 --> 01:06:44,941 She was nuzzling his ear! They were never to touch him. She's fired! 993 01:06:48,921 --> 01:06:50,912 On with the show! 994 01:06:53,526 --> 01:06:57,190 [Women] o Mr. Peacock 995 01:06:57,263 --> 01:06:59,960 o Our good man ;> 996 01:07:00,032 --> 01:07:03,366 o Mr. Peacock 997 01:07:03,436 --> 01:07:06,269 o Turns uson,® 998 01:07:06,339 --> 01:07:08,831 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 999 01:07:08,908 --> 01:07:12,105 o No one else could be so groovy ;> 1000 01:07:12,178 --> 01:07:14,943 o Your're our shining knight ,» o Mr. Peacock 1001 01:07:15,014 --> 01:07:17,881 » You're so outta sight 2 o Mr. Peacock 1002 01:07:17,950 --> 01:07:20,681 o Love was such a bore 2 1003 01:07:20,753 --> 01:07:23,723 o, Till you unlocked the door 1004 01:07:23,789 --> 01:07:26,724 and Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock 1005 01:07:26,792 --> 01:07:29,659 and You're the stuff our dreams are made of 1006 01:07:29,729 --> 01:07:31,663 - and Gary, Rock and Rex - and Mr. Peacock 1007 01:07:31,731 --> 01:07:35,668 - o Have now become Brand X - o Mr. Peacock 1008 01:07:35,735 --> 01:07:41,196 < Sinatra's turnin' green since you have made the scene 1009 01:07:41,273 --> 01:07:44,174 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 1010 01:07:44,243 --> 01:07:47,144 . How'd we ever do without you ,* 1011 01:07:47,213 --> 01:07:49,875 - g You're so super hip - and Mr. Peacock 1012 01:07:49,949 --> 01:07:52,748 J You make others trip and Mr. Peacock 1013 01:07:52,818 --> 01:07:55,617 . When you do your thing ./ o Mr. Peacock 1014 01:07:55,688 --> 01:07:58,680 . You're what"s happening ./ o Mr. Peacock 1015 01:07:58,758 --> 01:08:00,817 and Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock 1016 01:08:00,893 --> 01:08:04,523 o No one else could be so groovy ;> 1017 01:08:04,597 --> 01:08:07,225 o You're my shining knight o Mr. Peacock 1018 01:08:07,299 --> 01:08:10,166 » You're so outta sight 2 o Mr. Peacock 1019 01:08:10,236 --> 01:08:13,035 - J Love was such a bore - and Mr. Peacock 1020 01:08:13,105 --> 01:08:16,075 o, Till you unlocked the door o Mr. Peacock 1021 01:08:16,142 --> 01:08:19,009 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 1022 01:08:19,078 --> 01:08:22,378 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 1023 01:08:22,448 --> 01:08:24,780 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 1024 01:08:24,850 --> 01:08:27,717 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 1025 01:08:27,787 --> 01:08:33,521 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 1026 01:08:33,592 --> 01:08:39,224 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 1027 01:08:39,298 --> 01:08:43,030 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 1028 01:08:43,102 --> 01:08:46,402 o Mr. Peacock, Mr. Peacock > 1029 01:08:46,472 --> 01:08:50,375 S [ Jingle Bells”] 1030 01:09:00,519 --> 01:09:03,750 Rose Ellen, in God's name, come in the house! 1031 01:09:03,823 --> 01:09:06,315 Abner asked me to wait for him, Father. 1032 01:09:16,168 --> 01:09:19,331 Charlie, you sneak up and try that again and so help me-- 1033 01:09:19,405 --> 01:09:23,069 Lisa, you don't understand! I'm not makin' any cheap passes. 1034 01:09:23,142 --> 01:09:27,238 I'm on the level with ya. This legitimate! 1035 01:09:27,313 --> 01:09:29,975 I want you to be my mistress. 1036 01:09:30,049 --> 01:09:32,643 The last thing I need right now is a man. 1037 01:09:32,718 --> 01:09:34,686 Sooner or later, you'll need one, 1038 01:09:34,754 --> 01:09:37,587 but I'll be waitin'-- patient, but anticipatory. 1039 01:09:37,656 --> 01:09:39,590 Anticipatory. Is that a new word? 1040 01:09:39,658 --> 01:09:41,626 Miss Love gave it to me yesterday. 1041 01:09:41,694 --> 01:09:44,629 Good luck with it. Thank you. 1042 01:09:46,832 --> 01:09:49,267 Where have you been? Where I am every day: 1043 01:09:49,335 --> 01:09:52,396 hiring new pussycats to replace the ones you keep firing. 1044 01:09:52,471 --> 01:09:55,497 First there was Sherry because you thought she was nuzzling his ear. 1045 01:09:55,574 --> 01:09:59,943 Then Toma because you didn't like the look in her eye. And now Ingrid. All she did-- 1046 01:10:00,012 --> 01:10:04,472 I know what she did! She was pawing him! It's cheap! Offensive. 1047 01:10:04,550 --> 01:10:07,144 She was just removing lint from his lapel. 1048 01:10:07,219 --> 01:10:11,156 Don't tell me what she did! That settles it! 1049 01:10:11,223 --> 01:10:13,954 This business of all them living with him-- That is out! 1050 01:10:14,026 --> 01:10:17,018 What are you, Lisa? His den mother? I tell you it's out! 1051 01:10:17,096 --> 01:10:20,862 Starting tonight! Who knows what they've been doing up there every night. 1052 01:10:20,933 --> 01:10:25,530 I know! He's been teaching them bird calls. That's all that's been going on. 1053 01:10:27,039 --> 01:10:30,339 Are you sure, Joe? Are you really sure? 1054 01:10:30,409 --> 01:10:33,401 Oh, no! I don't believe it! 1055 01:10:33,479 --> 01:10:37,006 You know, with all those women up there all night. 1056 01:10:37,082 --> 01:10:40,017 Oh, don't tell me! You're jealous! 1057 01:10:41,620 --> 01:10:43,918 Jealous? 1058 01:10:43,989 --> 01:10:47,550 I'm so jealous, if any woman even looks at him my teeth hurt. 1059 01:10:47,626 --> 01:10:50,425 But he's just a-- I know what he is! 1060 01:10:50,496 --> 01:10:55,093 He's a little nobody! The kind my grandmother always warned me against. 1061 01:10:55,167 --> 01:10:58,364 When you're busy fighting off those big sexy brutes, 1062 01:10:58,437 --> 01:11:01,372 it's always the little nobodies who nail ya every time. 1063 01:11:01,440 --> 01:11:04,637 He's not for you, Lisa. Of course he isn't! 1064 01:11:04,710 --> 01:11:08,442 He's just a little, insignificant, small-town square. 1065 01:11:09,815 --> 01:11:12,614 The kind my mother was lucky enough to marry. 1066 01:11:12,685 --> 01:11:15,382 [ Slams Drawer ] I could spend my life in this rat race... 1067 01:11:15,454 --> 01:11:18,685 and never run into another one like him. 1068 01:11:18,757 --> 01:11:20,691 And why not? 1069 01:11:23,662 --> 01:11:25,960 I'll tell you why not. 1070 01:11:26,031 --> 01:11:29,331 I"m an all-the-way kind of woman. 1071 01:11:29,401 --> 01:11:31,733 It's either aman or a career. 1072 01:11:34,073 --> 01:11:36,064 The winner. 1073 01:11:36,141 --> 01:11:38,769 Good evening, Mr. Peacock. 1074 01:11:38,844 --> 01:11:40,778 Mrs. Dominick. 1075 01:11:43,315 --> 01:11:47,775 [ Exhales Heavily ] Come bello! 1076 01:11:55,127 --> 01:11:57,926 [ Clears Throat ] 1077 01:11:57,997 --> 01:12:01,831 - Workin' late, huh? - What are you doing here? 1078 01:12:01,901 --> 01:12:05,735 Oh, since the girls moved out-- 1079 01:12:05,804 --> 01:12:07,636 got kinda lonely. 1080 01:12:07,706 --> 01:12:12,667 You know how it is when you're used to having a lot of girls around and suddenly-- 1081 01:12:17,449 --> 01:12:21,647 You know something? Uh, we've never had dinner together. 1082 01:12:23,289 --> 01:12:27,522 - Forget it! I'm busy. - Yeah, well, sure. 1083 01:12:27,593 --> 01:12:29,789 [ Door Closes ] 1084 01:12:35,901 --> 01:12:37,835 Why not? 1085 01:12:39,238 --> 01:12:41,206 Abner? 1086 01:12:41,273 --> 01:12:44,208 Did you call me? 1087 01:12:46,478 --> 01:12:48,606 Now, how, Miss LaMonica. 1088 01:12:48,681 --> 01:12:52,276 I made a promise to you, and when I make a promise-- 1089 01:12:52,351 --> 01:12:54,046 Try and stop me. 1090 01:13:00,960 --> 01:13:03,486 Oh, Abner, I want you so much. 1091 01:13:03,562 --> 01:13:06,623 I want you every minute of the day-- 1092 01:13:06,699 --> 01:13:08,633 morning, noon and night. 1093 01:13:08,701 --> 01:13:11,864 Does that mean the dinner date is on? [ Chuckles ] 1094 01:13:11,937 --> 01:13:14,235 Dinner, lunch, breakfast, everything. 1095 01:13:14,306 --> 01:13:18,937 Uh, uh, I'll, uh-- I'll go get on my coat then. 1096 01:13:19,011 --> 01:13:20,945 Mm-hmm. 1097 01:13:22,614 --> 01:13:26,278 Hurry, darling. I've waited so long! 1098 01:13:27,386 --> 01:13:28,911 Charlie! Him and not me? 1099 01:13:31,090 --> 01:13:34,754 Charlie, let me explain! Shut up! 1100 01:13:34,827 --> 01:13:40,561 Okay, you're a normal broad. If there's anybody you want, it's gonna be me! 1101 01:13:40,632 --> 01:13:44,830 Not me or him! Because if there's gonna be a me or a him-- 1102 01:13:44,903 --> 01:13:48,066 One word to the boys-- There will be no more Aim! 1103 01:13:48,140 --> 01:13:50,108 [ Laughs] 1104 01:13:50,175 --> 01:13:53,475 How wrong can you be, Charlie? 1105 01:13:53,545 --> 01:13:55,479 I gotta keep conning him. 1106 01:13:55,547 --> 01:14:00,451 We gotta keep him believing no woman can resist him. We got a gold mine, Charlie. 1107 01:14:00,519 --> 01:14:04,012 As long as we keep him thinking that he's the hottest thing going. 1108 01:14:04,089 --> 01:14:06,717 Well, it sure sounded like-- Where's your sense of humor? 1109 01:14:06,792 --> 01:14:10,820 Me go for a little nobody like him when I could have you? 1110 01:14:10,896 --> 01:14:12,864 Come on, now, Charlie. 1111 01:14:12,931 --> 01:14:15,923 - It is funny. - Yeah! 1112 01:14:16,001 --> 01:14:20,700 One of these days, I'll just blow the whole thing and laugh right in his face. 1113 01:14:20,773 --> 01:14:23,105 Listen, you better leave before-- 1114 01:14:31,483 --> 01:14:36,512 Abner. You don't have to worry about laughing at me anymore. 1115 01:14:36,588 --> 01:14:38,556 You're never gonna see me again anyway 1116 01:14:38,624 --> 01:14:40,991 Abner, let me explain! 1117 01:14:41,060 --> 01:14:42,994 Come here, chump. You're going no place! 1118 01:14:43,062 --> 01:14:45,827 You hear me? Your're stayin' here as long as we need ya. 1119 01:14:45,898 --> 01:14:50,165 Ya hear me? Mr. Twilight, I don't have anything against you, 1120 01:14:50,235 --> 01:14:54,604 but I"m gonna count to three, and if you don't take your hand off my coat-- 1121 01:14:54,673 --> 01:14:59,042 I'll count for you! One, two, three. 1122 01:14:59,111 --> 01:15:01,637 Mm-hmm. Okay. 1123 01:15:04,716 --> 01:15:08,084 Let's get outta here. No, we got him into this. 1124 01:15:08,654 --> 01:15:10,053 He hit me. Charlie, he didn't mean it! 1125 01:15:10,122 --> 01:15:11,954 He hit me! Abner, tell him! 1126 01:15:12,024 --> 01:15:14,994 - I gave him fair warning. - Big Joe! Petey! 1127 01:15:15,060 --> 01:15:19,122 You better get out of here! Don't worry. So long, Mr. Twilight! 1128 01:15:19,198 --> 01:15:20,859 Rest in peace. 1129 01:15:22,134 --> 01:15:25,069 Good evening, Mr. Peacock. Good evening, Mr. Peacock. 1130 01:15:30,876 --> 01:15:32,844 Charlie, you can't! Shut up! 1131 01:15:32,911 --> 01:15:34,675 What's up, boss? Get Peacock! 1132 01:15:34,746 --> 01:15:37,340 Mr. Peacock? He hit him. He hit me. 1133 01:15:37,416 --> 01:15:39,214 Ice Pick Charlie! 1134 01:15:39,284 --> 01:15:41,378 You mean, Mr. Twilight is-- That's right! 1135 01:15:41,453 --> 01:15:45,890 - The man! And he's gonna have you killed! - Killed! 1136 01:15:46,225 --> 01:15:52,028 [Choir] . Comes love's old song ;> 1137 01:15:52,097 --> 01:15:54,327 o Comes love's ,» 1138 01:15:54,399 --> 01:16:02,307 . Old sweet song ;> 1139 01:16:03,942 --> 01:16:10,405 o Once in the dear, dead days beyond recall ,» 1140 01:16:10,482 --> 01:16:12,678 o When on the world 1141 01:16:12,751 --> 01:16:16,688 o The mist began to fall ,» 1142 01:16:16,755 --> 01:16:18,917 o Out of the dreams 1143 01:16:18,991 --> 01:16:22,450 o That rose in happy throng ;> 1144 01:16:22,528 --> 01:16:24,656 o LO, to our hearts g 1145 01:16:24,730 --> 01:16:29,429 " Love sang arn old, sweet song > 1146 01:16:29,501 --> 01:16:32,766 JSAnd in the dusk 1147 01:16:32,838 --> 01:16:35,705 o Where fell the firelight's gleam 1148 01:16:35,774 --> 01:16:39,108 . Softly it wove itself 1149 01:16:39,178 --> 01:16:45,208 ' Into our dream ,; 1150 01:16:45,284 --> 01:16:48,845 Oh, Abner, I knew you'd come back. 1151 01:16:50,455 --> 01:16:55,017 I had to. I just had to see you once more to say good-bye. 1152 01:16:55,093 --> 01:16:58,063 Good-bye? No, Rose Ellen, I don't have much time, 1153 01:16:58,130 --> 01:17:00,428 and I wanted you to know... 1154 01:17:00,499 --> 01:17:02,524 that as far as I'm concerned, 1155 01:17:02,601 --> 01:17:06,731 you're-- you're just about the most wonderful... 1156 01:17:06,805 --> 01:17:09,467 girl I-- 1157 01:17:09,541 --> 01:17:13,000 Yes? Rose Ellen? 1158 01:17:13,078 --> 01:17:15,012 [Door Opens ] Abner! 1159 01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:19,916 Oh, Reverend Wilkerson! Rose Ellen and I were just, uh--[ Chuckles ] 1160 01:17:19,985 --> 01:17:24,980 Uh, listen. I know what you and everybody here must think about me and, 1161 01:17:25,057 --> 01:17:26,991 you know, all those women. 1162 01:17:27,059 --> 01:17:29,323 We found it very amusing. 1163 01:17:29,394 --> 01:17:32,523 Amusing? Yes, Abner, all of us who really know you... 1164 01:17:32,598 --> 01:17:36,159 know that no matter how many girls you had around, 1165 01:17:36,235 --> 01:17:38,829 nothing possibly could have happened. 1166 01:17:40,272 --> 01:17:44,334 [Applause ] [ Chuckles ] Gee, I'm glad to hear that. 1167 01:17:44,409 --> 01:17:46,400 Oh, excuse me. 1168 01:17:47,479 --> 01:17:50,915 Gee, and I was so worried. 1169 01:17:50,983 --> 01:17:54,248 [Gasps ] Rose Ellen, look! I really am on the run. 1170 01:17:54,319 --> 01:17:56,981 I want you to know if you never see me again-- 1171 01:17:57,055 --> 01:18:01,185 Run? Abner, you don't have to run anymore. 1172 01:18:01,260 --> 01:18:03,957 You're home! 1173 01:18:04,029 --> 01:18:06,157 Home? 1174 01:18:06,231 --> 01:18:09,929 And now, if any of you thought... 1175 01:18:10,002 --> 01:18:14,269 that this year's concert would be without its most famous selection, 1176 01:18:14,339 --> 01:18:17,206 you didn't reckon with Abner Peacock. [Gasps ] 1177 01:18:17,276 --> 01:18:20,211 [ Applause, Cheering ] 1178 01:18:36,194 --> 01:18:39,528 Uh, [Clears Throat ] Thank you. 1179 01:18:39,598 --> 01:18:42,693 Uh, well, all I can say is, uh, 1180 01:18:42,768 --> 01:18:45,203 I, uh-- It's good to be home! 1181 01:18:45,270 --> 01:18:47,739 I know one thing: I'll never leave again. 1182 01:18:47,806 --> 01:18:50,036 [ Congregation Laughing ] 1183 01:18:50,108 --> 01:18:53,976 “Summer in the Meadow” by Eloise Dudley Fetlock. 1184 01:18:54,046 --> 01:18:58,916 Jo [ Piano Introduction] 1185 01:19:04,890 --> 01:19:09,760 J Onawarm summer's day as we wend our way J 1186 01:19:09,828 --> 01:19:14,390 < Through the fields smelling sweetly of heather 1187 01:19:14,466 --> 01:19:19,199 o As we stroll along let us hark to the song 1188 01:19:19,271 --> 01:19:24,641 o Ofour dear, little friends of the feather ,; 1189 01:19:24,710 --> 01:19:29,546 . Greeting his guests 15 the robin redbreast ;> 1190 01:19:29,614 --> 01:19:32,015 [ Forced Air] 1191 01:19:32,084 --> 01:19:36,282 O From the foliage lush comes the song of the thrush 1192 01:19:36,355 --> 01:19:38,847 [ Forced Air] 1193 01:19:40,025 --> 01:19:41,618 O The kingfisher's bark [ Sniffle ] 1194 01:19:41,693 --> 01:19:44,856 J The gay meadowlark and [Wheeze] 1195 01:19:44,930 --> 01:19:47,422 J A turtledove's croon [ High Moan] 1196 01:19:47,499 --> 01:19:50,093 J The laugh of a loon [ Weak Laugh] 1197 01:19:50,168 --> 01:19:51,966 [ Women ] o Is that a snipe J [ Squeak] 1198 01:19:52,037 --> 01:19:54,734 [ Men] o NO, a friendly bobwhite [ Forced Air] 1199 01:19:54,806 --> 01:19:58,037 O The herring gull's howl Hoot of an owl [ Hoot, Ah] 1200 01:19:58,110 --> 01:20:01,444 and Mallard duck's cackle Blue-bellied grackle [ Raspberry] 1201 01:20:01,513 --> 01:20:04,312 and A coot, hawk, a crow J [ Raspberry] 1202 01:20:04,383 --> 01:20:07,648 O An auk, a finch, a swallow J° [ Forced Air] 1203 01:20:07,719 --> 01:20:12,714 JAquail, tit willow and [ Forced Air] 1204 01:20:12,791 --> 01:20:15,658 O A grouse, a rook, a turkey 1205 01:20:15,727 --> 01:20:18,196 and But look 1206 01:20:18,263 --> 01:20:21,460 and There overhead majestic and regal 1207 01:20:21,533 --> 01:20:24,230 o The king of them all 1208 01:20:24,302 --> 01:20:25,827 J The American eagle J 1209 01:20:25,904 --> 01:20:27,702 S Ah 1210 01:20:29,875 --> 01:20:35,075 I'll write. o, From sea to shining sea /' 1211 01:20:52,597 --> 01:20:54,087 Abner! 1212 01:20:54,166 --> 01:20:56,100 Stay out of the line of fire! 1213 01:20:56,168 --> 01:20:59,001 No, Abner, my place is by you. 1214 01:21:00,705 --> 01:21:03,470 Oh, Rose Ellen. I"m sorry I had to do that. 1215 01:21:03,542 --> 01:21:05,203 Good-bye. [ Panting ] 1216 01:21:09,181 --> 01:21:11,775 All right! Get it over with! 1217 01:21:17,422 --> 01:21:22,360 Abner, I wish to apologize for anything I may have said in anger. 1218 01:21:22,427 --> 01:21:24,486 What'd you say? 1219 01:21:24,563 --> 01:21:27,589 I"m just repeating what Miss LaMonica sent me here to say. 1220 01:21:27,666 --> 01:21:30,727 You're not gonna-- Miss LaMonica made it very clear that.. 1221 01:21:30,802 --> 01:21:33,828 What the syndicate has at stake with the magazine-- 1222 01:21:33,905 --> 01:21:39,002 whatever I did to you, it would be nothin' to what my associates would do to me. 1223 01:21:39,077 --> 01:21:41,808 [ Relieved Laugh] Gee, Mr. Twilight! 1224 01:21:41,880 --> 01:21:44,941 Abner! 1225 01:21:45,016 --> 01:21:47,951 Oh, Rose Fllen! Yes? 1226 01:21:48,019 --> 01:21:50,147 Rose Ellen, 1227 01:21:50,222 --> 01:21:52,520 I-- 1 gotta talk to your father. 1228 01:21:54,259 --> 01:21:56,819 Excuse me! 1229 01:21:56,895 --> 01:21:58,989 [Sighs] 1230 01:21:59,664 --> 01:22:03,396 You and Rose Ellen going to be married-- 1231 01:22:03,468 --> 01:22:06,335 my fondest dream since you two were in kindergarten. 1232 01:22:06,404 --> 01:22:10,272 I know what a decent, wonderful boy you are. 1233 01:22:10,342 --> 01:22:12,401 [ Chuckles ] Thank you. 1234 01:22:12,477 --> 01:22:16,607 I know that and all who know you know that, but, Abner, 1235 01:22:19,317 --> 01:22:22,651 the world doesn't know that. 1236 01:22:22,721 --> 01:22:26,624 In the eyes of the world, you are-- well, a rake, 1237 01:22:26,691 --> 01:22:31,822 whose amorous exploits with countless women-- 1238 01:22:33,064 --> 01:22:36,398 Common gossip. Yeah, I know, Reverend Wilkerson. 1239 01:22:36,468 --> 01:22:40,371 The first thing in the morning, I'm gonna call that press conference... 1240 01:22:40,438 --> 01:22:42,998 and explain the kind of man I really am. 1241 01:22:43,074 --> 01:22:46,806 I'm gonna show 'em my citations, my potholders-- 1242 01:22:46,878 --> 01:22:51,975 Abner, there's just one thing that you must make absolutely clear to them: 1243 01:22:52,050 --> 01:22:54,951 And that is, that you are pure. 1244 01:22:56,288 --> 01:22:58,950 Pure? 1t's only fair to my little girl.. 1245 01:22:59,024 --> 01:23:00,958 That the world knows that the man she is marrying... 1246 01:23:01,026 --> 01:23:05,520 is just as virtuous as she is. 1247 01:23:05,597 --> 01:23:08,828 Uh, you mean that you want me to, uh, 1248 01:23:09,568 --> 01:23:13,095 [ Clears Throat ] uh, come right out there in front of all those, uh, 1249 01:23:13,171 --> 01:23:16,141 newspaper men and television cameras, and-- 1250 01:23:16,207 --> 01:23:18,574 and tell them thatl am a... 1251 01:23:19,678 --> 01:23:21,806 [ Whispers ] virgin. 1252 01:23:21,880 --> 01:23:25,111 Yes, Abner! [ Chuckles ] 1253 01:23:25,183 --> 01:23:28,676 Well, what I mean is-- 1254 01:23:28,753 --> 01:23:33,623 Well, no man likes to come right out and, uh-- 1255 01:23:33,692 --> 01:23:35,626 [ Clears Throat ] Well, look, wouldn't it look... 1256 01:23:35,694 --> 01:23:41,133 kinda silly for a man to call a big press conference just to announce that he's a-- 1257 01:23:42,701 --> 01:23:44,635 virgin. 1258 01:23:44,703 --> 01:23:49,140 Abner, you are. Oh, yeah! Oh, sure! 1259 01:23:49,207 --> 01:23:51,642 1ts just that, uh-- 1260 01:23:51,710 --> 01:23:57,205 Well, maybe I could get the idea across without actually coming out and saying it. 1261 01:23:57,282 --> 01:24:01,276 No, Abner. The truth must be known. 1262 01:24:01,353 --> 01:24:03,617 Oh, yeah, but to come right out... 1263 01:24:03,688 --> 01:24:08,956 and--and to say it like that, you see. 1264 01:24:09,027 --> 01:24:11,257 [ Muttering ] 1265 01:24:11,329 --> 01:24:14,856 [ Clears Throat ] Lots of times there are women at those press conferences. 1266 01:24:14,933 --> 01:24:18,836 I know one woman who will be there-- Rose Ellen. 1267 01:24:18,903 --> 01:24:23,306 Rose Ellen? And I'll be there with her to announce your engagement. 1268 01:24:25,243 --> 01:24:27,177 Well, gee, that's swell. 1269 01:24:29,047 --> 01:24:32,415 Say, I know! Maybe we could putitinariddle, 1270 01:24:32,484 --> 01:24:36,546 No! like, uh, guess what it is that's never-- 1271 01:24:36,621 --> 01:24:39,647 The truth! Straight out! 1272 01:24:39,724 --> 01:24:42,694 Straight out, yeah, uh-huh. 1273 01:24:45,296 --> 01:24:47,993 He couldn't do that! He just couldn't do that! 1274 01:24:48,066 --> 01:24:51,502 He must be crazy! No man would say that in public. 1275 01:24:51,569 --> 01:24:54,061 This wouldn't happen if Osborn was running things. 1276 01:24:54,139 --> 01:24:56,665 Quiet! Are you sure? I was just with him. 1277 01:24:56,741 --> 01:25:00,075 After he told me to call a big press conference, he began hemming and hawing. 1278 01:25:00,145 --> 01:25:04,013 Finally, he wanted to know how he could announce he had never had a woman-- 1279 01:25:04,082 --> 01:25:06,176 without actually using the word. 1280 01:25:06,251 --> 01:25:09,687 - Oh, no - Oh, let's not kid ourselves, Lisa. 1281 01:25:09,754 --> 01:25:12,485 We'll be the laugh of the century after the headlines: 1282 01:25:12,557 --> 01:25:16,050 “Abner Peacock: Leader of the Sex Revolution Is a Virgin!” 1283 01:25:16,127 --> 01:25:20,621 Avirgin! That's the dirtiest thing I ever heard in my life! 1284 01:25:20,699 --> 01:25:23,566 - We'll be laughed out of the business. - If Abner kills the magazine, 1285 01:25:23,635 --> 01:25:26,070 you don't think Charlie will let him live? 1286 01:25:26,137 --> 01:25:29,835 Everything you've built up! Everything wiped out the minute he opens his mouth... 1287 01:25:29,908 --> 01:25:31,842 and announces he's a virgin. 1288 01:25:33,078 --> 01:25:35,513 Unless-- 1289 01:25:35,580 --> 01:25:37,776 Unless? 1290 01:25:37,849 --> 01:25:42,047 Unless when he wakes up tomorrow morning, 1291 01:25:42,120 --> 01:25:43,986 he isn't. 1292 01:25:44,055 --> 01:25:46,683 Ladies and gentlemen of the press, 1293 01:25:46,758 --> 01:25:50,786 contrary to the erroneous impression the public has of me, 1294 01:25:50,862 --> 01:25:52,694 actually I'm a-- 1295 01:25:55,967 --> 01:26:00,905 Actually, my physical state could be described as that of a-- 1296 01:26:00,972 --> 01:26:02,770 [Sighs Heavily] 1297 01:26:04,743 --> 01:26:07,405 Maybe if I kept it light, offhand. 1298 01:26:08,546 --> 01:26:10,480 Hi, folks! Want to hear something funny? 1299 01:26:10,548 --> 01:26:13,483 [ Laughs, Groans ] 1300 01:26:16,187 --> 01:26:18,212 Miss LaMonica! 1301 01:26:18,289 --> 01:26:21,054 Hi, Abner. How 'bout a drink? 1302 01:26:21,126 --> 01:26:25,290 Uh, no, look, Miss LaMonica, I've got to be up at 7:00. 1303 01:26:25,363 --> 01:26:27,457 Oh, come on. Just one farewell drink. 1304 01:26:27,532 --> 01:26:29,728 Farewell drink? 1305 01:26:29,801 --> 01:26:32,600 Haven't you heard? I"m leaving the magazine. 1306 01:26:32,670 --> 01:26:35,002 You're leav-- But, uh, 1307 01:26:35,073 --> 01:26:38,566 Miss LaMonica, you made the Peacock what it is! 1308 01:26:38,643 --> 01:26:41,613 It's a great magazine! It never needed me. 1309 01:26:41,679 --> 01:26:44,842 [ Chuckles ] All that great lover baloney. 1310 01:26:44,916 --> 01:26:47,851 Listen, you just have to stay. 1311 01:26:47,919 --> 01:26:52,857 Stay? And go through the sheer hell of seeing you everyday, wanting you. 1312 01:26:52,924 --> 01:26:56,485 I know what I really am. You made that pretty clear. 1313 01:26:58,129 --> 01:27:02,225 All lies, Abner. All lies? 1314 01:27:02,300 --> 01:27:06,828 Oh, for heaven's sake, Abner! Here I am alone with you in your bedroom. Will you-- 1315 01:27:06,905 --> 01:27:11,399 Stop torturing me and have that drink, so I can get out and not go out of my mind. 1316 01:27:11,476 --> 01:27:16,380 Sure, sure, sure! Well, uh, here's to you, Miss LaMonica. 1317 01:27:16,447 --> 01:27:19,246 But, not good-bye, 1318 01:27:19,317 --> 01:27:22,014 just, uh, good night. 1319 01:27:29,494 --> 01:27:31,929 All lies! [ Chuckles ] 1320 01:27:32,997 --> 01:27:34,931 [Crashes ] 1321 01:27:37,302 --> 01:27:40,533 Good night, Abner. Okay, loe. 1322 01:27:41,606 --> 01:27:44,576 Get him undressed and into bed, huh? 1323 01:27:46,077 --> 01:27:48,068 Wonder if there's a good book around here? 1324 01:27:48,146 --> 01:27:50,808 Tsk. Gonna be along night. 1325 01:28:11,903 --> 01:28:13,871 [ Exhales ] 1326 01:28:19,244 --> 01:28:22,578 [ Snoring] 1327 01:29:29,714 --> 01:29:32,809 [Alarm Clock Rings ] 1328 01:30:31,943 --> 01:30:33,377 [Groans ] 1329 01:30:33,444 --> 01:30:36,880 Oh, darling, you're so wonderful. 1330 01:31:18,022 --> 01:31:19,956 Morning, sweetheart. 1331 01:31:24,028 --> 01:31:26,827 Abner? 1332 01:31:26,898 --> 01:31:29,333 Come here, lover. 1333 01:31:29,400 --> 01:31:31,266 Uh, [ Clears Throat ] 1334 01:31:31,335 --> 01:31:35,203 Miss LaMonica, uh-- 1335 01:31:35,273 --> 01:31:39,176 I don't know what to say! Don't say anything. 1336 01:31:39,243 --> 01:31:42,178 What are words after what's happened? 1337 01:31:42,246 --> 01:31:44,840 I don't remember. You don't remember? 1338 01:31:44,916 --> 01:31:48,250 Oh, of course, I remember! I mean, who could forget? 1339 01:31:48,319 --> 01:31:52,017 Oh, the sweet things you said, Abner. 1340 01:31:52,090 --> 01:31:55,321 [ Cries] I"m so glad it was you! 1341 01:31:55,393 --> 01:31:59,990 Now, Miss LaMonica, it's over. Please don't cry. 1342 01:32:00,064 --> 01:32:02,192 Isn't that what every girl does... 1343 01:32:02,266 --> 01:32:04,564 the first time? 1344 01:32:04,635 --> 01:32:07,161 The first time for you too? 1345 01:32:07,238 --> 01:32:11,072 I mean-- Oh, my God! 1346 01:32:11,142 --> 01:32:13,577 What have I done to you? You don't remember? 1347 01:32:13,644 --> 01:32:17,274 Oh, of course, I remember. It's just that you should have stopped me! 1348 01:32:17,348 --> 01:32:21,182 Oh, no! Oh, no! 1349 01:32:21,252 --> 01:32:24,847 I never knew such heaven could exist. 1350 01:32:24,922 --> 01:32:26,856 But-- But-- But the press conference. 1351 01:32:26,924 --> 01:32:29,291 Oh, they better not find me here! No, uh-uh. 1352 01:32:29,360 --> 01:32:32,159 But, Reverend, I told you, the press conference is off. 1353 01:32:32,230 --> 01:32:34,358 And I told you I want to know why. 1354 01:32:34,432 --> 01:32:36,662 [Door Opens ] 1355 01:32:41,572 --> 01:32:43,563 Miss LaMonica! 1356 01:32:43,641 --> 01:32:47,305 You forgot your, uh, thing. Abner! 1357 01:32:49,547 --> 01:32:53,381 She forgot her, uh... thing. 1358 01:32:53,451 --> 01:32:56,318 Abner! Come here. 1359 01:32:58,756 --> 01:33:00,986 Just one question: 1360 01:33:01,058 --> 01:33:06,428 Are you the same man this morning that you were last night? 1361 01:33:18,009 --> 01:33:22,071 Come, Rose Ellen. No, Father, I can't desert Abner. 1362 01:33:22,146 --> 01:33:25,582 I just know nothing happened. 1363 01:33:25,650 --> 01:33:28,142 In the name of God, Rose Ellen! 1364 01:33:28,219 --> 01:33:32,087 Didn't they teach you anything in your hygiene class? 1365 01:33:32,790 --> 01:33:34,781 Abner! Don't touch me, Rose Ellen! Don't dirty yourself. 1366 01:33:34,859 --> 01:33:38,090 Abner, I don't care what things look like. 1367 01:33:38,162 --> 01:33:41,655 Deep down in my heart I know you, 1368 01:33:41,732 --> 01:33:45,066 and I know nothing could have happened here last night. 1369 01:33:45,136 --> 01:33:47,798 [ Laughs] 1370 01:33:49,974 --> 01:33:51,840 Rose Ellen. 1371 01:33:51,909 --> 01:33:55,004 Dear, sweet, innocent, Rose Ellen. 1372 01:33:56,581 --> 01:33:59,380 Get it through your head: it happened! 1373 01:34:04,922 --> 01:34:08,358 Rose Ellen, there's something about me that you-- 1374 01:34:10,428 --> 01:34:12,795 There's something about me that you don't know. 1375 01:34:12,863 --> 01:34:16,629 What I mean is, I'm cursed... 1376 01:34:16,701 --> 01:34:20,831 with, uh, an abnormal sexual magnetism for women. 1377 01:34:20,905 --> 01:34:22,999 You? 1378 01:34:23,074 --> 01:34:26,669 It's a fact, Rose Ellen. A biological fact. 1379 01:34:26,744 --> 01:34:28,974 And I gotta face that. 1380 01:34:29,046 --> 01:34:32,482 You know, Rose Ellen, maybe, maybe what happened last night... 1381 01:34:32,550 --> 01:34:34,746 was a lucky thing for both of us. 1382 01:34:34,819 --> 01:34:37,914 What kind of a marriage would we have had? 1383 01:34:37,989 --> 01:34:40,788 How long could I have kept fighting "em off? 1384 01:34:41,692 --> 01:34:45,686 Rose Ellen, go home. 1385 01:34:45,763 --> 01:34:48,789 Forget about me. 1386 01:34:49,734 --> 01:34:54,137 [ Exhales ] This is the kind ofamanlam, 1387 01:34:54,205 --> 01:34:57,197 and this is the kind of life must lead. 1388 01:34:57,275 --> 01:35:00,142 [ Sobbing ] 1389 01:35:18,129 --> 01:35:20,598 Good morning, Mr. Peacock. 1390 01:35:20,665 --> 01:35:22,656 Good morning, Mr. Peacock. 1391 01:35:22,733 --> 01:35:24,963 Good morning, Mr. Peacock. 1392 01:35:34,412 --> 01:35:37,746 Hi. Abner, I've been thinking, and I think both of us... 1393 01:35:37,815 --> 01:35:40,546 oughta wipe completely from our minds what happened last night. 1394 01:35:40,618 --> 01:35:43,588 Now that it's over, I feel I can stay with the magazine. 1395 01:35:43,654 --> 01:35:47,818 Well, uh, [ Clears Throat ] I don't know if I want you to. 1396 01:35:47,892 --> 01:35:50,486 - What? - Well, I'm one of those fellows... 1397 01:35:50,561 --> 01:35:53,587 who feels rather strongly about his wife working. 1398 01:35:53,664 --> 01:35:55,598 Wifel well, sure! 1399 01:35:55,666 --> 01:35:58,158 We're gonna be married this afternoon, and I've made all the arrangements. 1400 01:35:58,235 --> 01:36:01,535 There's the address of the chapel and all the details. 1401 01:36:01,605 --> 01:36:05,667 Wait a minute! You wanna marry me? 1402 01:36:05,743 --> 01:36:09,407 Well, of course! After last night? 1403 01:36:09,480 --> 01:36:12,450 What do you think I am? One of those hit-and-run Romeos? 1404 01:36:12,516 --> 01:36:16,384 Abner, what happened last night was mutual. You don't owe me a thing! 1405 01:36:16,454 --> 01:36:19,947 I don't? After you gave me... 1406 01:36:21,459 --> 01:36:23,951 awoman's most cherished possession? 1407 01:36:25,429 --> 01:36:28,592 I don't believe this! Anyway, it's at 2:00. 1408 01:36:28,666 --> 01:36:31,601 Abner-- And tell Joe Merkel I want him to be my best man. 1409 01:36:31,669 --> 01:36:36,607 I'm honored and thrilled, but why are we rushing things? Why don't we think this over? 1410 01:36:36,674 --> 01:36:39,837 And after nine months have everybody counting on their fingers? 1411 01:36:39,910 --> 01:36:42,845 That's not for Mrs. Abner Peacock. 1412 01:36:49,854 --> 01:36:55,258 “His brow is wet with honest sweat. He earns what e'er he can. 1413 01:36:55,326 --> 01:36:59,388 And looks the whole world in the face--" [Door Opens ] 1414 01:36:59,463 --> 01:37:02,899 Thanks, Petey. I. Charles-- Morning, Miss Love. 1415 01:37:02,967 --> 01:37:05,902 I"m sorry to interrupt you, but this will just take a minute. 1416 01:37:05,970 --> 01:37:10,134 It's at 2:00. Little wedding chapel on Eighth Avenue. 1417 01:37:10,207 --> 01:37:12,642 There's free parking in the garage across the street. 1418 01:37:12,710 --> 01:37:15,077 The organist will validate your parking ticket. 1419 01:37:15,146 --> 01:37:18,172 Gettin' married, eh? How about that? 1420 01:37:18,249 --> 01:37:21,776 Well, congratulations, Mr. Peacock. Thank you, Miss Love. 1421 01:37:21,852 --> 01:37:24,344 It's the lovely little girl in Jersey, eh? 1422 01:37:24,422 --> 01:37:28,154 No, I'm marrying Miss LaMonica. 1423 01:37:28,225 --> 01:37:30,523 [ Miss Love] Miss LaMonica! Oh my! 1424 01:37:30,594 --> 01:37:33,188 Oh my! Isn't it exciting? 1425 01:37:33,264 --> 01:37:35,358 An office romance! 1426 01:37:35,433 --> 01:37:38,892 Miss Love, would you please excuse us? Why, of course. 1427 01:37:38,969 --> 01:37:42,337 I want to personally congratulate the bridegroom. 1428 01:37:42,406 --> 01:37:47,401 Well, I guess it won't be long before there'll be a nestful of little Peacocks? 1429 01:37:47,478 --> 01:37:52,006 [ Laughing ] 1430 01:37:52,082 --> 01:37:57,282 Well, adieu, Charles. Adieu, Miss Love. 1431 01:37:57,354 --> 01:38:01,291 [Loud Banging ] 1432 01:38:08,432 --> 01:38:11,925 And now I'll tell you why you're not marrying Lisa: 1433 01:38:12,002 --> 01:38:17,372 because when the preacher says to you, “Do you take this woman to be your wife?"-- 1434 01:38:17,441 --> 01:38:23,107 If you say, “I do,” those will be the last words you'll say in this life. 1435 01:38:25,149 --> 01:38:27,641 Get outta here! 1436 01:38:39,396 --> 01:38:40,955 Hello, darling. 1437 01:38:41,031 --> 01:38:43,466 Oh, Lisa, I wanna talk to you. 1438 01:38:43,534 --> 01:38:46,026 You know, maybe we're rushing this whole thing. 1439 01:38:46,103 --> 01:38:49,835 I haven't time. I have to get a trousseau and maid of honor. 1440 01:38:49,907 --> 01:38:53,104 I want to talk to you. No more talk. 1441 01:38:53,177 --> 01:38:56,169 The next thing I want to hear from you is, “I do.” 1442 01:38:56,814 --> 01:38:59,806 ' [ “Here Comes the Bride” ] 1443 01:39:33,551 --> 01:39:36,748 Right after you say, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,” 1444 01:39:36,820 --> 01:39:39,790 drop to the floor. Drop to the floor? 1445 01:39:39,857 --> 01:39:43,885 Don't ask questions, just drop to the floor. Drop to the floor. 1446 01:40:04,048 --> 01:40:08,952 What is this? Charles, I forgot to give you your new word for today. 1447 01:40:09,019 --> 01:40:11,579 New word? It's incarceration. 1448 01:40:11,655 --> 01:40:16,559 - Miss Love. - Edna P. Love, F.B.I. 1449 01:40:16,627 --> 01:40:19,358 You haven't got a thing on me! Oh, no? 1450 01:40:19,430 --> 01:40:23,833 Here it is in your own handwriting. “My Most Memorable Vacation.” 1451 01:40:23,901 --> 01:40:26,768 That clears up the Big-nose Schlossburg killing. 1452 01:40:26,837 --> 01:40:30,000 “My Most Embarrassing Moment.” That's the Fuzzy-- 1453 01:40:30,074 --> 01:40:33,135 Finnegan. The Fuzzy Finnegan murder. 1454 01:40:33,210 --> 01:40:37,772 But don't worry, Charles. I'll keep sending you new words every day. 1455 01:40:37,848 --> 01:40:40,783 And just think, when you get out in 20 years, 1456 01:40:40,851 --> 01:40:44,617 you'll know over 7,000 new words. 1457 01:40:47,791 --> 01:40:50,226 How about that? 1458 01:40:54,431 --> 01:40:57,298 Abner, I'm just the maid of honor. 1459 01:40:57,368 --> 01:40:59,302 Maid of Honor? 1460 01:41:28,132 --> 01:41:31,261 Rose Ellen, let's never mention last night again. 1461 01:41:31,335 --> 01:41:33,269 Never. 1462 01:41:36,040 --> 01:41:39,908 Dear friends, we are gathered here today to unite this man, 1463 01:41:39,977 --> 01:41:42,571 Abner Audubon Peacock, 1464 01:41:42,646 --> 01:41:48,016 and this woman, Rose Fllen Wilkerson, in marriage. 1465 01:41:48,085 --> 01:41:50,952 Do you take this woman to be your wife? 1466 01:41:52,890 --> 01:41:56,417 [ Clears Throat ] It's okay now. 1467 01:41:56,493 --> 01:41:58,427 It's all right. You can get up. 1468 01:41:59,530 --> 01:42:01,464 You can get up!